Cover for Drabblecast B-Sides episode 33, Free Range, by Haley GrunlohAfter she lost interest in the green eggs—yes, green chicken eggs (taste the same, look dyed, so what’s the point?)—my neighbor Johanna started raising black chickens. Yes, black ones. They’re popular in China for reasons ranging from nutrition to superstition, and she’d gotten three hens and a rooster from a guy in Chinatown—in exchange for the last two green-egg chickens she had.

“Green is good now in China,” he said. “Helps make a man’s pole longer.”

“Right,” she told him. “Don’t need to kill rhinoceros and go to jail for long pole anymore.”