Wednesday, July 25th, 2012

Cover for Drabblecast episode 250, Trifecta 22, by Liz PenniesMy name is… John.

I am…

I have a wife and a daughter. They are visiting me today. Their names– Alice. And Anna.

I can see, sort of. Everything is blurry. I am submerged in a coffin, a clear coffin with green water. There’s a tube in my mouth so that I can breathe, machine-like.

My legs are transparent. I see veins and arteries, thin muscles that look like spiderwebs bundled together. The doctors say my memory will be fuzzy. It’s supposed to come back quickly.

I am…

The theme of this Drabblecast Trifecta is “if you want something done right, you’ve got to do it yourself.” In Faithful Servant, a long-suffering butler’s poorly timed fit of temper is nearly the end of him. In Selfless, a man with an incurable illness goes to great lengths to ensure his wife and daughter enjoy a normal, happy life. In Prophecy Negotiations, a fateful farm boy learns that if you want to rise to a new station, it pays not to accept the first offer.

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"Selfless" by Kenneth Kao was originally published in Daily Science Fiction, April 2011. "Prophecy Negotiations" by Rich Matrunick was originally published at Space Squid, Summer 2011. "The Faithful Servant" by Joel Shulkin is a Drabblecast original.
Episode Art:  Liz Pennies
Read by:  John Cmar and Alasdair Stuart

Twabble:  “The pancakes attained sentience. Bill shook his fist at the charred landscape. “You blew it up, you damn dirty Crêpes!” ”  by  Astroguyz

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Thursday, July 12th, 2012
Warning:  Some Instances of Explicit Language

Cover for Drabblecast episode 249, Jimmy's Roadside Cafe, by Roo VandegriftAfter the world ended, Jimmy set up a roadside cafe in the median of I-95, just north of the Fallston exit, in the grassy depression between the guardrails. His first cafe, nothing more than a plywood shanty, fell to the first thunderstorm that blew through. The second was better: he dug a sort of foundation and built the walls out of heavy plywood he’d harvested from an overturned Home Depot truck, reinforced the corners with steel joints, laid down a sheet of tin for the roof. He used a Hummer’s windshield for the front window, a thick yellow shower curtain for the door. And then he nailed an Open/Closed sign beside the doorway, flipped it to Open, settled down in his lawn chair, and waited…

This episode of the Drabblecast is post-apocalyptic. In the drabble, Santa’s list is put to unusually ominous use one Christmas. In the feature, after the world ends, Jimmy cobbles together a makeshift roadside café where he assists passersbys. Whether they need scavenged supplies, hard truths, or a place to rest and say goodbye, his simple kindness is an oddly uplifting oasis in a ravaged world.

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Originally published at Strange Horizons, 30 June 2008.
Episode Art:  Roo Vandegrift

Twabble:  “I saw myself buying new eyeglasses. For weeks, it's all my crystal ball showed me, every single time. It was a re-vision. ”  by  Algernon Sydney is Dead

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Friday, July 6th, 2012
Warning:  Some instances of Explicit Language

Cover for Drabblecast episode 248, Cockroach Hat, by Greg Cravens“What I don’t like about it,” said Cliffe, “is that is it’s just a metaphor instead of something real.”

“What if it was real?” I (Sam) asked. “What if it was me and I actually turned into a cockroach someday?”

This episode of the Drabblecast is all about crazy relationships. In the drabble, it’s apparent that finding Mr. Right is difficult no matter who (or what) you are. In the feature, Sam wakes up one day to discover he has been transformed into a giant cockroach. He spends the rest of his day on a surreal quest, not only to return to his normal self, but also to save his girlfriend from threats both mundane and extraordinary, with the hope a new start together.

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Originally published at Tor.com, May 2010. Word Whore Raffles a Painting! More Greg Cravens: gocomics.com/thebuckets, moreontvcomics.com, gocomics.com/hubris, cravenscartoon.com
Episode Art:  Greg Cravens
Read by:  Preston Buttons and the Word Whore of Air out My Shorts

Twabble:  “Four of the subjects died only a few days after being exposed to the virus. The last was immune, so I had to kill him myself. ”  by  TroyStJames

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Monday, June 25th, 2012

Cover for Drabblecast episode 247, How I Crippled a World for just .001 Cents, by Bo Kaier“You are accused of stealing the intellectual property of Einstein, Dirac and Heisenberg.” The middle-aged speaker waved his finger at Professor Hillabin, more in the manner of a prosecutor than a judge.

This episode of the Drabblecast illustrates the folly of bureaucracy. In the drabble, one by one an entire classroom of students are promoted to be their own teachers. In the feature, a lost, dimension-hopping scientist is trapped in a world where scientific theories are considered intellectual property. Unable to perform his calculations without them, he finds himself on trial for failure to pay royalties. When he cannot convince the court to take mercy on him, he pulls looses a devastating strategy.

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Originally published in Bards and Sages Quarterly, July 2010.
Episode Art:  Bo Kaier
Read by:  John Mierau

Twabble:  “After hearing the ominous growls coming from the drain, Stephen decided it was time to stop masturbating in the shower. ”  by  Sir_Ignatz

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Tuesday, June 12th, 2012

Cover for Drabblecast episode 246, Kidney, by David FlettThe shop bell rang at the front of the St. George Tim Hortons. I didn’t see who came in, but when Shel looked up, his eyes widened.

“Crap.” He whispered. “It’s my kidney.”

“Your kidney?” I asked. I turned in my seat, but Shel jerked me back by the shoulder. He held up his free hand to shield his face.

“Shhh,” he murmured. “Don’t look at it…”

The theme of this episode of the Drabblecast is awkward run-ins. In the Drabble (pulled from the Dribblecast) a man returns home from work and is unable to relate to his wife. In the feature, a stalker ex-kidney illuminates how ending relationships is akin to losing a part of yourself.

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A Drabblecast original.
Episode Art:  David Flett

Twabble:  “Rogers had to admit, above the screaming, that the scientist’s little finger did in fact know more than he did after all. ”  by  Never-Mind

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Sunday, June 10th, 2012

Cover for Drabblecast episode 245, A Nice Jewish Golem, by Tom Morganti“Mrs. Levine, it is hard enough for someone to find the right person to love in the world, even with all the people in it. For Yeshua, it is almost impossible. Would you have him fall in love with a human girl and pine for her until his heart broke and we would have to erase
the letter that gives him life? Reduce him back to a lifeless thing?”

This episode of the Drabblecast is about adoption. In the drabble, a grieving father performs terrible experiments with the comfort food brought by well-intentioned neighbors. In the feature, a fawning mother grapples with conflicting fears for her son, a golem, when he falls in love with a non-Jewish construct. Despite her distress, she must ask: In a world where options for love are severely limited, what role does faith play?

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Originally published in Jersey Devil Press #25, December 2011. Getting My Think, by Sondra Harris
Episode Art:  Tom Morganti
Read by:  Sondra Harris

Twabble:  “I kiss the hag - mouth and tongue. She melts into a maiden. No! I scream, another fetish dream dashed by faerie tale magic. ”  by  nevermore_66

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Friday, June 1st, 2012
Warning:  Drug use and explicit language - not for kids!

Cover for Drabblecast B-Sides episode 17, Exploring, by Bo KaierRecorded Live at Balticon 2012

The two began their journey again, stopping at the edge of the graveyard.  “It sure looks scary in there,” the little brown-haired girl said.

What’s scary is that if you don’t get your ass moving, it’s gonna be Wednesday before I get my freak on.

“Yeah,” said Socks, tugging open the wrought iron gate.  “But nothing’s gonna stop us, cause we’re brave explorers!”

Originally published in Space Squid, Summer 2011.
Episode Art:  Bo Kaier
Read by:  Veronica Gigure, Hugh O'Donnel, Lauren "Scribe" Harris

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