And with a mighty crack the sky opened up! There, sitting on a throne of ivory and omnipotence, was the Lord in all his terrible glory. And God said: “Let there be Funk!”
On this episode of the Drabblecast B-Sides podcast, a semi-lucid prophecy of a musically dominated future. Disco, punk, funk, and more are at odds, as maniacal genre fan devotion rules the streets!
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From a small, dusty box similar to a contact-lens case, she took a fresh iDreams bindi, a self-adhesive circlet displaying the iDreams logo: a stylized human head wreathed in fluffy clouds and displaying a Third Eye…
This episode of the Drabblecast explores the relationship between technology and romance. In the Drabble, cryotechnology brings new dimensions to love, loss, and grieving. The feature, Daydream Nation, is a post-modern fairy tale exploring how the development of an iDreams caster, a device allowing users to broadcast crafted or purchased iDreams to one another, might affect courtship and relationships. After the story, Norm waxes poetic about the effect of our instant message society on “good old fashioned cheesy flirting.”
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Since the Emergence they’d all had to learn: humans, certainly, but mostly the Lemurians…
Norm opens the episode with the “Top 10 List” of the most badass animals of 2008, each mentioned in the listener and news forums (winner: the “colossal squid,” of course). This episode’s Drabble, by Shane Shennen (who also contributed a Drabble to Episode #93), explores the villainous joys of building a robot army. Norm segues into the moody feature story by Samantha Henderson. Samantha was featured recently with her fantasy “Starry Night” (Episode #89), which coincidentally also involves crystals. In this story, a young member of the underground Lemurian species ponders his relationship to a human race captivated by their unearthly gemstones. Feedback for “Gifting Bliss” (Episode #91) was highly positive.
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Seen from a hundred feet up–if one could see any of this meeting, which they can’t – Saint Nick and his reindeer are red and brown dots standing on a potmarked gray island spanning hundreds of feet, lapped by waves…
Norm begins this Christmas episode with musical satire of the “Night Before Christmas” poem, twisting it into an explanation of the subprime derivative collapse: “We Don’t Have to Liquidate Christmas.” Jonathan C. Gillespie, a veteran of the podcast “Variant Frequencies” among others, focuses on those unsung worker heroes of Christmas, the everyday average reindeer, who pull a heavy load (and toys too) across the skies. As it turns out not even these mythic creatures are immune to office politics. The titular Dasher is given a chance to prove himself, and keep his day job, amid a desperate sky race around the world.
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“Squidges?” This was a term I hadn’t heard before. I was used to Maine brother colloquialisms, they had adopted a vocabulary largely unique to themselves, but this went beyond even that…
Norm rewards forum participant Wonko by reading his Drabble about an unwilling exposure to the majesty of nature. Rish Outfield and Big Ankelvitch, narrators of the Dunesteef podcast, assist Norm in telling Thomas Canfield’s story, “Squidges.” In it, an unsuspecting patron of eccentric auto-mechanics learns about the unseen gremlins plaguing cars the world round. Feedback from Frank Key’s surreal sci-fi piece, #90 “Far Far Away,” demonstrates the magnetic qualities of magnetic love monkeys to fans of the Drabblecast.
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I had a dog, his name was Blue
Betchya five dollars he’s a good one too.
Come on Blue!
I’m a-comin’ too.
Glum weather in Baltimore inspires Norm to treat us all to a pair of melancholy stories. In Shane Shennen’s Drabble, “Ancient Apple Tree,” the passing of an old, faithful robot is mourned by nary an organic eye. Next, accomplished writer Mike Resnick (who appears in Drabblecast #67, “Malish,” and #102 “The Last Dog”) bases a sad tale of attrition and mourning on the traditional song “Old Blue.” Accompanied by Norm’s gentle rendition of the song, the story describes the mutual loyalty of a hermit and his canine companion in a harsh season. A grateful Norm confesses to his love of dogs after the song and story conclude. This is followed by feedback for Episodes #88 (“The Toys of Peace”) and #89 (“Starry Night”), which is generally positive.
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They called it “Synesthesia.” It’s when the senses got mixed up and you started to hear colors or taste sounds…
Norm begins this with a warning concerning graphic violence and gore. We return to one of the Drabblecast’s favorite topics, the Zombie Apocalypse. The theme receives a fresh airing, which is just as well, as it was starting to smell. Sal Lemerond, veteran of the horror webzine “Necrotic Tissue,” posits the connection between drug addicts and zombies, in a 100-word drabble. Norm chimes in with a tasty public service announcement about the nutritional value of your brain on drugs. In the feature story, J. Alan Pierce whose work has appeared in Kaleidotrope, as well as twice on the Drabblecast (#18 “The One that Got Away” and #31 “Beekeepers”) – takes us through a zombie plague via the eyes of an early victim. The condition first manifests as Synthesesia, the scientific name for the ability to taste colors, smell sounds, and other bizarre sensory hallucinations. The story culminates in a family dispute and a choice betrayal.
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“When I first met Jason he was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the studio, surrounded by burning candles. The air smelled like flowers and a sort of a fog hung in the room and I’m thinking- this dude is a little off…”
This podcast begins with a content warning, beware the “f-bomb.” Norm takes the occasion of Thanksgiving to politely thank civilization and his listeners. The feature is a faux documentary from Josh Roundtree, a contributor to “Realms of Fantasy.” Its subject is a record called “Gifting Bliss” from fantasy musician Jason Avery, whose band “Broken” has a magical healing power to listeners. The reading includes fake commercial breaks and Norm’s hysterical imitations of several sub-standard bands and clueless musicians. Lastly, Norm reads the feedback for the recent Halloween story, “The Box Born Wraith.”
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The bullet-riddled corpses of our dead crew-mates, all sixteen of them, are coffined up, and the coffins stacked as a makeshift ping pong table…
In Drabble News, Norm congratulates the Harper Collins Dictionary for adding the slang term “meh” (an utterance of indifference). For the Drabble segment, returning author and future editor Matthew Bey (responsible for Drabblecast #58, “Eggs,” among others) allows his strange nocturnal fantasies about pupating locomotives to cross into the listener’s daylight. Next, Norm reads from the work of Frank Key, the British surreal author whose ‘lopsided fiction’ has graced the Drabblecast on numerous occasions, including episode #190. The selection: “The Goat God.” The feature describes the Flying Dutchman space journey of the starship “Corrugated Cardboard,” and the strange transformations of its surviving crew. The crew’s destination: a tiny pink planet where blind, mute, magnetic love monkeys frolic. Do these wonderful mythical creatures even exist, or are they figments of the unreliable narrator’s imagination? Finally, Norm reads from the positive feedback heaped by readers upon Episode #86, “Half Sneeze Johnny.”
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“They were frozen in place, and their bodies blazed. The angel was before them, and they were silent, burning with no heat…”
The episode opens with a Drabble by John Medaille, a veteran of Podcastle, the Dunesteef, and the “Three-Lobed Burning Eye.” It discusses the depredations and terror experienced by survivors of a post-apocalyptic elevator failure. Next, continuing the theme of apocalyptic landscapes, Samantha Henderson also a veteran of numerous podcasts as well as “Realms of Fantasy” contributes her story, “Starry Night.” Evoking Van Gough’s famous painting, her story describes the consequences of a celestial event that illuminated, and then blinded, the renaissance village of Monte Verde. Surreal tragedy follows. After the story, reader feedback from the Double-Header, “Hush and Hark” and “Meta Science Fiction,” describes how disturbing and or amusing the audience found the stories. Listeners rated Trifecta 5 as middle-of-the-road.
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Harvey retreated to the library and spent some thirty or fourty minutes in wondering whether it would be possible to compile a history, for us in elementary schools, in which there should be no prominent mentions of battles, massacres, murderous intrigues, and violent deaths…
Norm thanks listeners who voted in the recent election, before punishing non-voters by busting out an unexpected freestyle rap explaining the American Electoral College system, entitled “Electoral Homies.” Keeping with the civic governance theme comes a feature story from 19th-Century author “Saki,” the pen name for Hector Hugh Monroe. In it, the National Council for Peace attempts unsuccessfully to limit and channel the aggressive instincts of playful young boys. Lastly, Norm reviews the overwhelming reader feedback response to Episode #84, “Floating Over Time.”
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“I don’t want to die in the dark!”
“We all die in the dark, Benny…”
Norm spends this episode doing his very best cheesy Vincent Price styled horror show host (Note: not a Vincent Price imitation, but an imitation of a really bad Vincent Price imitator), complete with an interminable string of puns about “ghouls” and “ghosts.” As this year’s Halloween treat, Norm selects a truly terrifying story from frequently heard contributor Kevin David Anderson, also seen in Dark Animus, and numerous other publications which include the word “Dark” in their titles. In “The Box Born Wraith,” an unexpected encounter between a condemned mobster and a tribe of hungry ghouls changes both the captive and the captors. Finally, still in character, Norm urges listeners to face the horrors of the voting booth in November’s election.
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If he ain’t comfortable, he can’t sneeze proper to save his life…
During the Drabble News, Norm introduces us to the cutest little tongue-biting-then-tongue-impersonating parasite that one could ever hope to meet. The Drabblecast then ticks off another row on its scorecard for “Bodily Functions Bingo” by delivering fiction about the act of sneezing. In the Drabble segment, Peter Wood tells the story of an unfortunate sufferer who finds that even death is no surcease from the problem of allergies. During the feature story, “Half-sneeze Johnny” which originally appeared in “Kaleidotrope” print magazine, the gentle sound of a half-sneeze, which sounds like chickadees being crushed to death, serves as an unlikely truth detector for a pair of mobsters. The author also contributed the story for Drabblecast #54, “Unholy Fruit.” Feedback from Episode #81, “Snuffles,” and #82, “Overgrown Clump of Narcissists,” rounds out the episode.
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The fifth of the Drabblecast’s Trifectas gathers three stories about addiction to love. Due to the subject matter, Norm issues a warning about it’s kid unfriendliness. First, the narrator of Suzanne Vincent’s story, “Strange Love,” discovers the erotic secret behind the popularity of tattoos among space alien visitors. Next, Jim Bernheimer, (who had previously contributed the story “Reality Bites!”), offers “Cookies,” a quixotic tale leaving listeners to ponder whether we raise our kids, or they raise us. Finally, “Forbidden Love,” by Ian Fossberg, describes the final quest of a familiar love-lorn character from our shared childhood.
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“She was called Mrs. Underhill, because that’s where she lived, and I assumed she was some kind of hob, because she obviously wasn’t human…”
In some Drabble News, Norm Sherman shares the interesting tale of well fed “Terry the Crocodile.” The featured stories are a double-dose of Michael Stanwick goodness. “Hush and Hark” brings a god back home, if only for a moment. “Metasciencefiction” shows just how writers come up with those wonderful stories about dinosaurs and guns and awesome stuff like that. Feedback is for Episode 80, “Standing in Line.”
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She was a machine, fabulously complex and durable and imaginative. She was also alive…
This well regarded episode of the Drabblecast shares the poetic story of two complex individuals welcoming, dreading, and ultimately learning from the finality of their own end.
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“As you can see, this clump of daffodils is far too overgrown,” said the frail, blue-haired host.” The blooms in the center are starting to suffer as the younger bulbs challenge them for sunlight and nutrients…”
The episode begins with more from the world of the Mega-Beach Death-Match. The Drabble describes warring among fairies. The feature is a grim tale of holiday angst, shame, and the potential for forgiveness (and unforgivable acts). Feedback is for episode 79’s “Low Carb Cheesecake.”
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Snuffles’ cave was a marvelous place. It was where his glowing rock lived…
The Mega-Beast Death-Match finals are announced. Stories detail mutants and things that aren’t what they appear to be. The Drabble describes the twitchy, secret side of a husband. The feature is a story of nature in the extreme. A mutant badger? Havoc? Drabblecast goodness! Feedback is for episode 77 “Permanent Detention” and episode 78 “Panel Discussion.”
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I sense a diference the instant I step out of the water. In the unnatural stillness there is an arid taste in the air that assaults the back of my throat…
Norm Sherman brings us an episode about endings, and why they don’t always have to be bad. The Drabble is about a “beautiful” end. The feature is a touching tale of family’s facing their impending end with strength and solidarity. Feedback is for “Apologies All Around,” episode 76.
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