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Category: Comedy Page 1 of 7

Drabbleclassics – Primary Pollinator (191)

Drabbleclassics 29 cover by Bill Halliar

Drabbleclassics:

A fan-hosted Series that features fan-picked stories from the Drabblecast archives, remastered and brought to you by fans like our host this week, Bart Epstein.  Enjoy!

This week for Drabbleclassics Bart Epstein brings your Primary Pollinator, by Nicole Kimberling.

When Dr. Lopez came for me, I was plunging the geo lab toilet. She carried a red stickle suit in one hand and a spray can of anti-fungal lubricant in the other.

 

Drabblecast 398 – The Day After The Day The Martians Came

Drabblecast martians cover by Justin EisenbeissThis week The Drabblecast presents “The Day After the Day the Martians Came” by Frederik Pohl.

Jokes can teach you a lot about the underlying anxieties of a culture. The old line “take me to your leader” was actually a jab at President Eisenhower’s leadership during the Cold War. This story is about jokes and anxiety. Part of what makes it so brilliant is discerning between the two.

Though Frederik Pohl passed away in 2013, his impact on the world of science fiction (and particularly on this podcast) will carry well into the future. His 1977 novel “Gateway” won the Hugo, Locus, Nebula, and John W. Campbell Memorial Award for Best Novel. Among many other accolades Pohl became only the 12th recipient of the Damon Knight Memorial Grand Master Award in 1993 and was inducted into the Science Fiction and Fantasy Hall of Fame. Pohl may not be a household name, but he deserves to be.

Story Excerpt:

On the television screen a hastily edited tape was now showing the return of the Algonquin Nine space probe to Mars, but no one was watching it. It was the third time that particular tape had been repeated since midnight and everybody had seen it at least once; but when it changed to another shot of one of the Martians, looking like a sad dachshund with elongated seal flippers for limbs, one of the poker players stirred and cried: “I got a Martian joke! What’s worse than a martian tryin to fly a spaceship?

“It’s your bet,” said the dealer.

“A martian tryin’ to park one” said the reporter, folding his cards. No one laughed, not even Mr. Mandala, although some of the jokes had been pretty good. Everybody was beginning to get tired of them though, or perhaps just tired.

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Drabbleclassics 27 – Go Beep (173)

Drabbleclassics is a fan-hosted monthly series that features fan-picked stories from the Drabblecast archives.

Our Drabbleclassics host this time around is Jen Fisher, who presents author Aliya Whiteley’s take on mindless marketing, the grunge rock anti-establishment, and the struggles of a young couple trying to fight a bizarre takeover, in her story “Go Beep.”

Oh, and an alternative rock recipe for crème brûlée.  Enjoy!

Warning: Excessively catchy jingles.

First appeared on Drabblecast 173.

Drabblecast Reborn Metacast

Relaunch Prelaunch imageThe Drabblecast Reborn! Yeah, it’s happening! There’s just 48 hours left to be a part of it, folks. That’s right, our Drabblecast Reborn Kickstarter Campaign comes to a close this Wednesday, October 17th @ 7 pm EST/4 pm PST.

In our recap, Norm wraps up the final Drabblecast Relaunch Prelaunch episode with gratitude, news, and an assortment of limited 48 hour opportunities!

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Drabblecast Presents: In Search of The Burmese Floridian Python

Dabblecast Presents: In Search of the Burmese Floridian PythonCryptozoologist Connor Choadsworth  deep into the Florida Everglades in search of the elusive and decidedly misplaced “Burmese Floridian Python…”

Pallid, oddly-accented Choadsworth and his slack-jawed, knuckle-dragging camera man Jeff embark on an exhaustive trek deep into f&$%ing Florida!

Seriously, what kind of creatures actually live in f&$%ing Florida?

Meet the Burmese Floridian Python:

Burmese Floridian Python imageA snake which can grow up to fifteen feet long, weight over two hundred pounds, and eat an adult sheep hole… which sounds kinda gay, doesn’t it? Not that there’s anything wrong with that… Well, it is a sheep, so that’s not really cool.

This was originally an exclusive video podcast available only to Drabblecast $10/month subscribers. Now it has been made available to everyone! To get access to more exclusive content, you can subscribe and support your favorite podcast!

Enjoy the search!

Drabblecast Presents – In Search of The Burmese Floridian Python with Connor Choadsworth

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Drabblecast Presents: The Adventures of Connor Choadsworth

Three days left in the Drabblecast Reborn Kickstarter! You’ve still got time to get in there and get some awesome Drabblecast rewards.

In this Relaunch Prelaunch episode, you’ll hear excerpts from Drabblecast resident Cryptozoologist Connor Choadsworth’s past adventures, and also about how you can help fund his next adventure by helping us reach our 45K Kickstarter stretch goal!

Drabblecast Fan Picks: To Whatever

Drabblecast Fan Picks: To Whatever

Drabblecast Fan Zimmerman goes over his first Drabblecast love, remembering his trip through the Wrangell Mountains of Alaska, in this Drabblecast Relaunch Prelaunch fan pick. The smallness we feel in big places; the conversations we have with ourselves.

The real lesson of life is to laugh. “Because life, no matter how dark, when read as a comedy, is filled with impossible laughter.”

 

Drabblecast Presents: In Search of the Mongolian Deathworm

Drabblecast Presents: In Search of the Mongolian DeathwormThe Drabblecast presents “In Search of the Mongolian Deathworm,” a riveting adventure into the desert sands of Mongolia.

Join cryptozoologist Connor Choadsworth as he treks across the Gobi desert in search of a mythical acid-spitting, lightning sh*tting annelid.

This original series was created by Norm Sherman for the Drabblecast. Keep your eyes and ears open as Connor Choadsworth will be returning for an all new adventure very soon!

For now, the Mongolian Deathworm—the deadliest worm in all of Mongolia.

Story Excerpt:

It is subject to a number of extraordinary claims by Mongolian locals. Such as the ability of the worm to spew forth sulfuric acid that upon contact will turn anything it touches yellow. It kills humans. And it’s purported ability to kill at a distance by means of electric discharge… through its anus…

This series was originally serialized across five Drabblecast Episodes:

Now you can enjoy the complete nature documentary series right here!

In Search of the Mongolian Deathworm

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Drabblecast Fan Pick: Followed

Drabblecast Fan Picks Followed cover artThe Drabblecast Reborn Kickstarter campaign continues! Today, Fan Picks: Followed, by Will McIntosh as chosen and introduced by Drabblecast fan Boo Yeah. Hear her thoughts on an unsettling story about living with the consequences of our actions…

This story originally aired in 2011.

Story Excerpt:

She came wandering down the sidewalk like any other corpse, her herky-jerky walk unmistakable among the fluid strides of the living.  She was six or seven, Southeast Asian, maybe Indian, her ragged clothes caked in dried mud. Pedestrians cut a wide berth around her without noticing her at all…

So enjoy this Fan Pick:

Drabblecast Fan Picks: Followed

Drabblecast Presents: Globes

Globes by Norm Sherman art by Bo KaierA very special throwback story from our editor/founder/host and general bon vivant Norm Sherman.

Listen to 11 year old Norm take us to the edge of the unknown with a story he wrote for 7th grade English class back in the day.

And speaking of mishearing those words as  “Backing Today,” check out the Drabblecast Reborn Kickstarter and help us hit our next stretch goal, to bring Drabblecast Classics back each month!

The moon-lit tide was without peace on this particularly awkward Wednesday night. It wasn’t the ocean’s unmerciful beating of the soft sand underneath it that made it an awkward Wednesday night…

Drabblecast Director’s Cut: Flying On My Hatred of My Neighbor’s Dog

Cover art Director's Cut: Flying On My Hatred of My Neighbor's DogThe Relaunch Prelaunch continues with another listener-requested “Director’s Cut: Flying On My Hatred of My Neighbor’s Dog.”

When this story originally aired in 2013 it was an immediate hit with the Drabblecast Community, winning Best Story in the People’s Choice Awards of that year. It seems the potentially energizing power of hate is still a relevant topic here in 2018.

In this episode, Norm sits down with the author, Shaenon Garrity.

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Drabblecast B-Sides 67 – Bad Shit

Drabblecast cover for Bad Shit by Declan J. Keane“Fat Jimmy,” said Wilbur. “I told you: Fat Jimmy.”

“You told me it was a skinny guy,” said the uniform.

“Fat Jimmy is skinny,” said Wilbur.

The uniform sighed.

“So you bought the weed from a skinny dealer called Fat Jimmy?”

“Didn’t buy, just holding.”

“For Fat Jimmy?”

“That’s what I said: Fat Jimmy.”

“Where did Fat Jimmy get it?”

“I don’t know,” said Wilbur. “His man.”

Drabblecast 372 – Delicate Parts

Drabblecast Delicate Parts by Bo KaierEarnest was in kindergarten when Jackie the Janitor got fired for “choking the chicken” in the girls’ bathroom. That phrase, along with his best friend Bradley Watson’s accompanying hand gestures, stuck in Earnest’s head so hard that whenever he looked at the thing between his legs, all he could see was a bald, pointed bird head, like the ones attached to the roast ducks hanging in the window of a Chinese restaurant.

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Drabbleclassics 25 – Charlie the Purple Giraffe Was Acting Strangely (113)

Cover for Drabblecast episode 113, Charlie the Purple Giraffe, by Josh HugoA change came over Charlie then, like a cloud passing in front of the sun.  He placed his hands flat in his lap, straightened his neck, and took a deep breath.  “Us,” he said at last.  “They read us.”

A delightful Drabble evokes a sage summation of the style from Norm: the mark of a good drabble is the rolling of the eyes and sounds of chuckling. The feature is a unique tale set inside a televised cartoon world. Our main character, Charlie the purple giraffe, has a disturbing and profound view of his world, one not shared by his best friend Jerry the orange squirrel. Floating question marks, colored word balloons, it may not be as light, airy, and humorous as appears at first blush.

Drabblecast 368 – Restless in R’lyeh

Drabblecast cover for Restless in R'lyeh by Greg CravensDear Doctor Saperstein,

I’m a 44-year-old librarian from Kansas and a loyal reader of askdoctorsaperstein.com. Last night, after a relaxing day spent gardening, binge-watching “America’s Got Talent,” and organizing my snowglobe collection, I had a nightmare. A hideous octopus-headed monster performed a ukulele solo on “America’s Got Talent,” then killed and ate Howard Stern. Afterwards, Heidi Klum chanted tunelessly in a harsh alien language (possibly German). When I woke up, I was filled with unspeakable dread and all the snow in my snowglobes was whirling around as if someone had shaken each one. What could it mean?

–Worried in Wichita

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Drabblecast B-Sides 60 – The Great VüDü Linux Teen Zombie Massacree

Drabblecast Zombie Massacree by Aaron SiddallBob and I attracted a pack of zombies when we stopped to fuel up at the Texaco in Buffalo Springs. I hoped we’d lost them, but hope was all I had. Bob said they were the fresh remains of a high school football team who’d been drowned and de-souled by water daemons at a lakeside party.

Young, strong corpses have the speed and stamina to run down a deer. Until the sun and wind finally turned their flesh to stinky jerky, they’d be dangerous enough to make a vampire shit bats. And fresh zombies are persistent as porn site pop-up ads. If they take a shine to the smell of your blood, they might track you for days, stopping only if live meat falls right in their laps.

Drabblecast 351 – DoubleHeader XVII: Camille Griep

Cover for Drabblecast DoubleHeader of Camille Griep, by Alex ClawThe fiery orange sun hung high over the Bangkok skyline to the south. Professor Tina Montri rearranged her skirt and adjusted the alligator skin briefcase on her lap which held the presentation and research notes from her talk at the university. A breeze stirred on the back of her neck, warm and relaxing. She could almost fall asleep if it weren’t for her precarious perch at the top of a tree.

 

 

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Drabblecast 347 – Why I Hate Zombie Unicorns

Drabblecast episode 347, Why I Hate Zombie Unicorns, by David FlettThe good news is, zombie unicorns almost never bite. The bad news is, even a tiny scratch from a zombie unicorn horn will turn you into a zombie. Mom discovered that by accident.

 

 

 

 

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Drabbleclassics 13 – Rangifer Volans (192)

Cover for Drabblecast episode 192, Rangifer Volans, by Bo KaierIn early December, Brad Miro walked into the office of his partner, Dr. John Estes, and said, “I’ve got our next target. It’s perfect. The public is going to love it.”

John closed his eyes. “I haven’t even finished writing the paper about the Mongolian death worm yet”

This Christmas Special episode of Drabblecast starts with Norm’s Lovecraft inspired take on “The Night Before Christmas”. The theme this week is a creepy yet festive take on Christmas. The feature lets us see the career of a successful crypto-zoologist. As we see Dr John Estes just recovering from discovering the Mongolian death worm when his partner wants to catch a flying reindeer. Norm discusses how it’s better not to believe, like in Santa… or the Mayans.

Drabblecast 345 – Cat With Blue Fur Trifecta

Cover for Drabblecast episode 345, Cat With Blue Fur Trifecta, by Bo KaierA collection of stories from the Cat With Blue Fur Writing Contest.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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