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Author: Bo Kaier Page 1 of 15

Drabblecast B-Sides 84 – Rubble People

Drabblecast cover by ToekenAnother fantastic strange story sure to blow your mind from Drabblecast author Matthew Sanborn Smith.

The local Partyville starts to peel apart around us: the booth, the ball pit, a video game and the netting between them, the pizza on the table, and the table too. Shards of pressboard and plastic fly toward me while molding themselves into the form of a man. A couple of the other moms scream, and their kids run to them. I didn’t expect this, but I know what it is.

Drabblecast Director’s Cut – On a Clear Day You Can See All the Way to Conspiracy

Conspiracy Director's Cut“Get Your Home Improvement On, Sucka…”

Norm and author Desmond Warzel sit down and talk about fiction, ghosts, aliens, and of course his hit stor which frst appeared on the Drabblecast back in August of 2014, “On a Clear Day You Can See All the Way to Conspiracy.”

You’re listening to the Mike Colavito Show on Cleveland’s home for straight talk, WCUY 1200. The opinions expressed on this program do not reflect those of WCUY, its management, or its sponsors.

Fair warning; I’m in a mood today, folks…

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Drabblecast 429 – Letter from Lynchburg

Cover for Letter from Lynchburg by Bo KaierAlternate history on this week’s show– an original story by Edward J. Knight about the American Civil War that we perhaps only narrowly missed!

7 August 1865

My darling Emily,

I do not know if this letter will reach you, but if it does, I hope it finds you well. General Lee has sent word to President Johnson requesting the evacuation of Washington, and I fear that Baltimore will be next. Remember that I have an uncle outside of Boston and he should be happy to take you in, should the worst come to pass. Just tell him that we are engaged to be married and I am sure he will provide for you.

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Drabblecast 427 – Doubleheader- Matthew Sanborn Smith

Drabblecast Doubleheader Cover by Carly HeathOn this week’s Drabblecast, Norm and author Matthew Sanborn Smith bring you a dose of perspective during these crazy times where weirdness seems to be the norm. Remember those invisible things around us that support and hold us no matter what our struggles our, and remember to cherish each moment of every day.

I wonder what will happen when I’m not up for it, when the weight finally overcomes my rigidity and I snap. Will I be a bloody mess when I turn back? Will I be too afraid to turn back and just take my chances with the landfill?

 

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Drabblecast 426- Trifecta: Friends Close, Enemies Closer

Alternative Histories Trifecta cover by Ali GoldaperThis week, another Drabblecast Trifecta, this time with the theme:  Friends Close, Enemies Closer.  We bring you three stories, with three different narrators, by three different authors!  Time Cookie Wars, by Benjamin C Kinney, Sandy, by Bruce McAllister, and Oh What a Privilege to Dwell in the Grand Palace of the Tungerils! by Kelly Moore.

Good evening. Below you are 2,478 feet of air. Yes, study the carpet, little Wesley. Whatever you do, don’t stomp! Just kidding—what you should be doing is taking off your clothes to ready yourself for this journey. All of you—Ms. Linden, and your glasses, too. Don’t worry. Over 2 feet of concrete and rebar lay between that long drop and us anyway…

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Drabblecast B-sides 83- Spar (Bacon Remix)

Bo Kaier's cover for Spar Bacon RemixIn the tiny lifeboat, she and the alien eat bacon endlessly, relentlessly.

They each have their own preference. Hers is the usual, crispy but not too crispy, the creamy fat just firm enough to bite through, the salt making grainy little bumps that she licks off her fingers.

The alien is not humanoid. It is not bipedal. It has cilia. It has no bones, or perhaps it does and she cannot feel them. Its muscles, or what might be muscles, are rings and not strands. It seems to like its bacon softer than she does, almost raw even, though sometimes it eats pieces that were left to fry a little too long.

It eats the bacon a thousand ways. She eats it, too.

Drabblecast B-Sides 82 – HP’s Mad Gibbs

Bo Kaier's cover for Mad Gibbs DrabblecastWe take the classic Mad Libs formula and give it an eldritch twist. On this special B-Sides episode turn your ears up for H.P. Lovecraft inspired purple prose with listener submitted prompts…

Drabblecast 425 – The Bodies

Bo Kaier cover for Drabblecast, Tim Pratt's The BodiesAnother gripping and macabre tale from Drabblecast fan favorite Tim Pratt.

Finding that first body wasn’t so bad, though it rattled me at the time. The dead man was curled up on a piece of cardboard in the alleyway I cut through sometimes on my way to the good coffee shop, and I would have assumed he was just sleeping rough, if he hadn’t been on his back, eyes open to the gray morning sky, lips flecked with bits of whatever he’d thrown up and choked on. The flecks were still wet…

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Drabblecast Director’s Cut – Necessary Cuts

Drabblecast Director's Cut Necessary Cuts Cover by Bo Kaier“My headlights were streaked pink with frog blood…”

Norm and author comedian/writer Bryan Miller about comedy and horror, editing and frog country, Lovecraft and fish horror. Also, Bryan’s H.P. Lovecraft-inspired story, “Necessary Cuts.”

The manuscripts I read are haunted. Commas vanish forever into the void. Subjects and verbs struggle in bloody disagreement. Infinitives are cleaved with a dull axe. Sentence fragments ablated at one ragged end lay strewn between the margins.

I take an exorcist’s solemn pride in banishing these warped creatures from the village, sending slapdash monstrosities back to the murky dark from whence they came. The pages come in and the pages go out; my reward is the warm tingle of equilibrium, having restored order to some tiny corner of the world…

Episode Trailer can be found at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WC-qJxNuA6s

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Drabblecast 425 – Unlike Most Tides

Susie Oh's Cover for Unlike Most Tides pt 2 for DrabblecastNorm pays tribute and bids farewell to the greatest unsung hero of the podcast for the past two years: editor Sandra Odell. This fantastic story and many others have been brought to your ears through her hard work!

Our story is another original Drabblecast commissioned story for Women & Aliens month, this week by Darcie Little Badger.  Solitude is often a time to help reflect on ourselves, and realize just how wonderfully connected we are to the universe around us.  But how do we cope with such inevitably connectivity? What are our responsibilities to those fastened to us or colliding with our destinies us? Grab your kayak, hit the beach and find out…

“The prima donna sun has not yet risen to outshine every other star in the Milky Way. Overhead, a flash of light arcs between Orion and Taurus, the hunter firing at the bull. With a grunt, Mathilda lowers her kayak and admires the streak of light across the sky, thinking of her childhood in Los Angeles. There, shooting stars—most stars, really, except for the terrazzo and brass ones on the Hollywood walk of fame —were rare and wondrous. Things are different now. Mathilda still considers the stars to be wondrous…”

 

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Drabblecast 424 – On the Feeding Habits of Humans: A Firsthand Account

Lissa Quon's Cover for On the Feeding Habits of Humans for the DrabblecastOur first Women & Aliens Month commission for 2020–  It’s a goodie, a full-cast production of a Drabblecast original by Rachel K. Jones and Khalida Muhammed-Ali. Wash up, it’s time for dinner!

On this diplomatic mission, I, Scholar, have two objectives: first, to advise Master Feeder TikTik on Earth customs and linguistic differences, and second, to accurately record what transpires so we may determine an exchange of gifts…

 

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Drabblecast 423 – The Martians Claim Canada

Emily Cannon's Drabblecast cover for The Martians Claim Canada by Margaret AtwoodThe Drabblecast begins it’s 9th Annual Women & Aliens Month”– a full month of original commissioned stories by women about (you guessed it) aliens. First though, the Drabblecast presents a story by author Margaret Atwood about musicals, fungus, aliens and… well, you’ll see!

The Martians descend to Earth in their spaceship. They intend to go to New York – they want to see something called ‘a musical’ – but they get the directions mixed up, as many before them have done, and end up in Canada instead, as many before them have also done. Specifically, they land on a chunk of rock in the boreal forest somewhere on the Laurentian Shield. There is no one around, or no one you might recognize as ‘one’…

Drabblecast B-Sides 81 – Sally

Drabblecast cover Sally by Jonathan SimsSally was coming down the lake road, so I waved to her and called her by name. I always liked to see Sally. I
liked all of them, you understand, but Sally’s the prettiest one of the lot. There just isn’t any question about it.

She moved a little faster when I waved to her. Nothing undignified. She was never that. She moved just enough faster to show that she was glad to see me, too…

Drabblecast B-Sides 80 – The Peoria Plague

Drabblecast Cover Peoria Plague Bo KaierFor Drabblecast Bsides Premium Subscribers this week, we bring you the classic 1972 Full Cast radio production of The Peoria Plague.  Don’t worry, it’s just a fictional audio drama!

…isn’t it?

Drabblecast 422 – The Full Moon Group

Drabblecast Full Moon Group cover by Jon StubbingtonOn this week’s show Norm makes a case for adult diapers in preparation for the apocalypse before giving us a taste of “The Peoria Plague,” a 1972 radio drama that doesn’t feel so “1972” at all.

The feature story this week, “The Full Moon Group” by Dianne M. Williams is a Drabblecast original and reminds us that creatures of all walks of life need a little support now and then…

Time was running out, and Matt couldn’t stand the thought of driving home for the change. He turned off the car in the parking lot across the street from the stone church and checked the address. The internet ad said: “Shifter Support — we welcome all shifters. We take security seriously…”

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Drabblecast 421 – The Life You Save May Be Your Own

Drabblecast episode cover The Life You Save May Be Your Own by Bo Kaier

Norm begins this episode with a metacast update on what’s been going on behind the scenes at the Drabblecast lately. He initiates a call to action for all Weird Nation to consider registering as organ donors and to find out more at www.organdonor.gov

Our story this week by short story legend Flannery O’Connor explores the question, “Am I the asshole?” Special thanks to our guest host and narrator, Random Hospital Cafeteria Worker.

The old woman and her daughter were sitting on their porch when Mr. Shiftlet came up their road for the first time. The old woman slid to the edge of her chair and leaned forward, shading her eyes from the piercing sunset with her hand…

Drabblecast 420 – Comfort and Joy

Drabblecast Cover by Bo Kaier Comfort and Joy

This year’s Drabblecast Christmas Special brings you another original commissioned holiday story from the master of Christmas weirdness himself: Tim Pratt.

Happy Holidays Weirdo’s!

I was in a grubby little bar down in Florida, sitting on a stool beside a plastic palm tree decorated with Christmas lights, when I heard a cough, and smelled cold ashes. I folded up my list and tucked it into my pocket. Without looking around, I said, “Ruprecht. Long time.” A very long time, actually, but I’ve always been good with names…

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Drabblecast B-Sides 79 – My Father’s Crab

My Father's Crab by Cagdas DemiralpI don’t know where it was—that miniature golf course in the sand—but it had to be the Gulf of Mexico somewhere. We were driving from one coast to the other, like always. “The Great Southern Route,” my dad called it. It had to be Florida, Mississippi, Louisiana, or Texas—one of them. I was seven…

Drabblecast 419 – Trifecta: Halloween Special

Drabblecast Halloween Cover by Bo KaierSpecial Guest Host Cryptkeeper Norm hosts this year’s Drabblecast Halloween special.

The Drabblecast brings you a special 3 original stories from Editors past and present, all centered around the history of a lonesome Texas Graveyard.

We present to you,The Lich Gate Trifecta:

They Went Into the Graveyard, One by One by Matthew Bey
The Armadillo Man by Norm Sherman
Macadam by Samantha Henderson

Enjoy!

 

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Drabblecast 418 – Not Recommended for Guests of a Philosophically Uncertain Disposition

Lissa Quon cover for Drabblecast episode Not Recommended For Guests Of A Philosophically Uncertain Disposition

Episode Sponsor- I’m From Nowhere by Lindsay Lerman

Damita managed The Fracture’s visitor centre and gift shop, while Jem took the guided tours. There was also a cafe, which always had fresh coffee and an inventive selection of hot sandwiches, although Damita had never met anyone who worked in the kitchens.

‘They’re all very industrious, just highly introverted,’ Jem said.

‘You should go and get one of today’s specials — Cajun pheasant and fried pickles on a toasted sesame seed bagel. Marvellous…’

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