Drabblecast Covers Collage 2018 01

Category: Comedy Page 3 of 7

Drabblecast 320 – Half a Conversation, Overheard While Inside An Enormous Sentient Slug

Cover for Drabblecast 320, Half a Conversation, Overheard While Inside An Enormous Sentient Slug, by Skeet ScienskiThank you, Inspector. I’m ready.

Yes, I understand my rights as a resident extraterrestrial. No, that won’t be necessary.

Of course. Ask me anything. I only wish to see justice done.

It grieves me to say so, but I concur. There’s no doubt about who murdered Lord Ash.

 

 

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Drabblecast 319 – Trifecta XXVII

Cover for Drabblecast 319, Trifecta XXVII, by Mackenzie MartinThe Drabblecast April Fool’s Day episode!

Recorded live: A Drabblecast story slam that took place March 27th 2014 in Baltimore Maryland at the EMP Art Collective.

Drabblecast B-Sides 33 – Free Range

Cover for Drabblecast B-Sides episode 33, Free Range, by Haley GrunlohAfter she lost interest in the green eggs—yes, green chicken eggs (taste the same, look dyed, so what’s the point?)—my neighbor Johanna started raising black chickens. Yes, black ones. They’re popular in China for reasons ranging from nutrition to superstition, and she’d gotten three hens and a rooster from a guy in Chinatown—in exchange for the last two green-egg chickens she had.

“Green is good now in China,” he said. “Helps make a man’s pole longer.”

“Right,” she told him. “Don’t need to kill rhinoceros and go to jail for long pole anymore.”

Drabblecast B-Sides 31 – The Black and White Animals Trilogy

Cover for Drabblecast B-Sides episode 31, The Black and White Animals Trilogy, by Bo KaierThe complete Black and White Animals Trilogy, uncut. Written by Kendall Marchman, Luke Coddington and Norm Sherman, produced by Norm Sherman. Originally appeared as episodes 11, 22, and 24… Part 1: Secret Weapons, Part 2: Vengeful Hearts  and Part 3: Chromatic Conclusions.

Drabblecast 298 – Flying On My Hatred of My Neighbor’s Dog

Cover for Drabblecast episode 298, Flying On My Hatred of My Neighbor's DogThe week we present to you Flying On My Hatred of My Neighbor’s Dog by Shaenon Garrity.

Have you ever been so exasperated that you could feel the energy rippling off of you? Just how far could the power of that hate carry you? Could it fuel your car? How about a rocket ship?

 

I know my neighbor’s dog as a bark: a deep, dark, venomous yawp that begins and ends on a snarl. It’s loud, louder than it should be. Earplugs do nothing. It penetrates. Once it starts, it continues, relentlessly, for a period ranging from one to four hours. It can start at any time, day or night, dropping from the veils of morning to where the cricket sings.

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Drabblecast B-Sides 28 – TGIF

Cover for Drabblecast B-Sides episode 28, TGIF, by Bo KaierTGIF, a covers medley by The Drabblecast’s Norm Sherman

Drabblecast 293 – The Call of the Pancake Factory

Cover for Drabblecast episode 293, The Call of the Pancake Factory, by Bill HalliarThe bar is plenty kitschy: goofy statues made from coconuts everywhere and strings of shell beads hanging from the ceiling. I smile when I see a coconut sporting a pair of mouse ears made from scallop shells.

Tourists from all over the world are sitting around, ordering drinks non-stop because the sun is so hot at this time in Indonesia that you’ll wilt if you go outside and also because the drinks are so watered down. But that’s all right with me. I’m here to blend in, not to get drunk.

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Drabblecast 286 – Unique Chicken Goes in Reverse

Cover for Drabblecast episode 286, Unique Chicken Goes in Reverse, by David KrummenacherFather Leggett stood on the sidewalk and looked up at the three narrow stories of gray brick that was 207 East Charlton Street. Compared to the other edifices on Lafayette Square—the Colonial Dames fountain, the Low house, the Turner mansion, the cathedral of course—this house was decidedly ordinary, a reminder that even Savannah had buildings that did only what they needed to do, and nothing more.
He looked again at the note the secretary at St. John the Baptist had left on his desk. This note read:
OCONNORS
MARY
PRIEST?
CHICKEN!

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Drabblecast B-Sides 22 – The Eyes Have It

Cover for Drabblecast B-Sides episode 22, The Eyes Have It, by Greg CravensIt was quite by accident I discovered this incredible invasion of Earth by lifeforms from another planet. As yet, I haven’t done anything about it; I can’t think of anything to do. I wrote to the Government, and they sent back a pamphlet on the repair and maintenance of frame houses. Anyhow, the whole thing is known; I’m not the first to discover it. Maybe it’s even under control…

Drabblecast 280 – Trifecta XXV

Cover for Drabblecast episode 280, Trifecta XXV, by Matthew MatticeYou’ve been one-legged since the lasso trap. Your personal ad says “Kids: undecided” even though you desperately want two.

When the maître d’ shows you to your blind date’s table, you are pleased with her prominent forehead and symmetric face. She has potential.

Before you can sit, her eyes drift to where your missing leg would be and snap back to your face. She forces a smile.

You talk menu.

She likes the braised shank.

Drabblecast B-Sides 20 – In Search of The Burmese Floridian Python with Connor Choadsworth

Drabblecast B-Sides cover 20, In Search of the Burmese Floridian Python with Connor Choadsworth, by Bo KaierPallid, oddly-accented Cryptozoologist Connor Choadsworth and his slack-jawed, knuckle-dragging camera man Jeff journey deep into the Florida Everglades in search of the elusive and decidedly misplaced “Burmese Floridian Python…”

This is an was an exclusive video podcast originally available only to Drabblecast $10.00 a month subscribers.  Subscribe and support your favorite podcast!

Now you can enjoy!

Drabblecast B-Sides 20 – In Search of The Burmese Floridian Python with Connor Choadsworth

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Drabblecast 270 – The First Conquest of Earth

Cover for Drabblecast episode 270, The First Conquest of Earth, by Richard K. GreenWhen the alien fleet was first sighted just beyond the asteroid belt, end-of-the-world riots broke out in cities around the globe. But when astronomers calculated that the huge, silent ships would take nearly three weeks to reach Earth, all but the most committed rioters felt their enthusiasm wilt. By the end of the day they’d all dropped their bricks or bats and slunk home, plundered consumer electronics in hand, muttering about the aliens’ apparent lack of urgency...

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Drabblecast B-Sides 18 – On the Vinegar Valves of Venus

Cover for Drabblecast B-Sides 18, On the Vinegar Valves of Venus, by Bo KaierMonsignor’s Log, stardate the Millennium Feast of Saints Blot & Cugat…

It was a very special day, so I wore the least tatty of my vestments. The chasuble is only slightly frayed, the stains on the cincture have faded, the alb, granted, is little better than a rag.  I cannot get the grease out of the amice, and the stole is in tatters. The less said about the maniple the better. But by adjusting the lighting so it played through the cobwebs I think only the sharpest-eyed of congregants will have noticed. I did my best to disguise the stink by spraying the chapel with an aerosol can of Essence of Blood of the Lamb. It was decocted, of course, not from the real blood of a real lamb, but from chemical compounds manufactured in the lab by boffins. I have seen pictures of so-called “real” lambs in a codex. They look like tinier versions of sheep, if, that is, they were drawn to scale. Who knows?

Drabblecast 262 – My True Lovecraft Gave to Me

Cover for Drabblecast episode 262, My True Lovecraft Gave to Me, by Rodolfo ArredondoDear Mr. Kugelmacher,

This letter is to inform you of my resignation. As you know, I have spent the last fifteen years of my life working in your department store, from the age of twelve when I was hired as a stock boy, to my years spent in the jewellery department, to my time in management. I have loved working here, and I am very sorry to leave, but I fear that if I remain any longer, my health and my sanity will be forfeit. Perhaps if I explain the events of weeks, it will become clearer why I have to quit.

Drabblecast 252 – The Elder Thing and the Puddle People

Cover for Drabblecast episode 252, The Elder Thing and the Puddle People, by Matt WasielaUpon the coming of the rain and the and the reawakening of the Krr’at race, the Elder Thing returned to us and squealed Its sky-splitting squeal and waded in among us. It came with the green feet that had eyes and mouths, and with the yellow, rubbery outerskin, and with the lace and the glitter — oh, the horrible, horrible glitter…

This episode of the Drabblecast continues H.P. Lovecraft Tribute Month, specifically focusing on the frequent appearance of cults in Lovecraft’s work. In the drabble, cult meetings aren’t always all about sacrifices and secret rites. In the feature, what starts out as an innocent encounter between a little girl and her imaginary friends takes an ominous turn when the “puddle people” turn out to be real creatures who worship her as their capricious god. When a rebel revolts against the the cult to save her daughter from being sacrificed, how will their deity react?

Drabblecast 250 – Trifecta XXII

Cover for Drabblecast episode 250, Trifecta 22, by Liz PenniesMy name is… John.

I am…

I have a wife and a daughter. They are visiting me today. Their names– Alice. And Anna.

I can see, sort of. Everything is blurry. I am submerged in a coffin, a clear coffin with green water. There’s a tube in my mouth so that I can breathe, machine-like.

My legs are transparent. I see veins and arteries, thin muscles that look like spiderwebs bundled together. The doctors say my memory will be fuzzy. It’s supposed to come back quickly.

I am…

The theme of this Drabblecast Trifecta is “if you want something done right, you’ve got to do it yourself.” In Faithful Servant, a long-suffering butler’s poorly timed fit of temper is nearly the end of him. In Selfless, a man with an incurable illness goes to great lengths to ensure his wife and daughter enjoy a normal, happy life. In Prophecy Negotiations, a fateful farm boy learns that if you want to rise to a new station, it pays not to accept the first offer.

Drabblecast 248 – The Cockroach Hat

Cover for Drabblecast episode 248, Cockroach Hat, by Greg Cravens“What I don’t like about it,” said Cliffe, “is that is it’s just a metaphor instead of something real.”

“What if it was real?” I (Sam) asked. “What if it was me and I actually turned into a cockroach someday?”

This episode of the Drabblecast is all about crazy relationships. In the drabble, it’s apparent that finding Mr. Right is difficult no matter who (or what) you are. In the feature, Sam wakes up one day to discover he has been transformed into a giant cockroach. He spends the rest of his day on a surreal quest, not only to return to his normal self, but also to save his girlfriend from threats both mundane and extraordinary, with the hope a new start together.

Drabblecast B-Sides 17 – Exploring

Cover for Drabblecast B-Sides episode 17, Exploring, by Bo KaierRecorded Live at Balticon 2012

The two began their journey again, stopping at the edge of the graveyard.  “It sure looks scary in there,” the little brown-haired girl said.

What’s scary is that if you don’t get your ass moving, it’s gonna be Wednesday before I get my freak on.

“Yeah,” said Socks, tugging open the wrought iron gate.  “But nothing’s gonna stop us, cause we’re brave explorers!”

Drabblecast 240 – Trifecta XXI

Cover for Drabblecast episode 240, Trifecta XXI, by Gino MorettoWe bought our first yarn baby at a garage sale. The ends of its arms were frayed and its eye buttons dangled loose on bare threads.

This theme of this episode of the Drabblecast is family unties: Nontraditional homes and family situations. In the drabble, the enterprising resident of a haunted house fools its ghosts into performing everyday domestic tasks. In Divorce in the House of Flies, a young boy has to deal with his parents’ divorce at the same time he has to deal with their transformation into human-shaped masses of tiny insects. In Wendigo Bake Sale, residents of a small town overcome their initial terror of a pair of wendigo participating in the school bake sale, only to be frightened anew when the wendigo reveal they are supporting the school because their child attends. In Knit, after losing their first yarn baby during her rebellious teen years in a tragic unraveling accident, a couple tries vainly to reconstruct her from the scraps of yarn, stuffing, and buttons left behind.

Drabblecast B-Sides 16 – Winning Streak

Cover for Drabblecast B-Sides episode 16, Winning Streak, by Mary MatticeSeven security gargoyles stare at me from atop the elaborate sandstone columns lining the casino’s walls. Their sharp eyes and oversized talons flex ever so slightly in anticipation of snatching up cheaters like unsuspecting prey… The pit boss watches me too, now, and for good reason. I’m an Ittari after all, a shapeshifter, just as they’d identified me with the DNA scan when I’d entered this fine establishment…

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