Here’s the thing Sheila- you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. You’re also funny, intelligent, sex is fantastic and you certainly have an interesting career but…I just don’t think I can date you anymore..
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I know what they teach you in school, Bobby, but don’t let anyone tell you that the human race isn’t the greatest, most glorious of all earth’s creatures…
Norm presents his one-minute review of the monster movie, “Cloverfield.” The Drabble speculates on the Bleak Reaper’s off-duty recreation activities. The feature story, originally published in the print magazine “Futures,” is a “facts-of-life” monologue from a father to his son on an Earth crushed under the legless boot-heel of a strangely dehumanizing alien occupation. Concluding that no matter what heights humanity reaches, in the end we’re all worm fodder. Feedback for Episode #42, “40 Quarters,” was sparse and mixed, although the listeners certainly did emendate our vocabularies. Norm concludes with reminders that the “People’s Choice” award voting and the first annual Nigerian Scam Spam contest are both still wide open.
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“What have you got there, Dell?”
Lars twisted his hand painfully to get a look at the ring.
“Where did you find that?…”
Norm introduces all and sundry to his latest favorite, real-life monster animal: the four-inch “Giant Water Bug,” which sucks out its prey’s innards. It can fly and also play dead in order to sucker unwitting prey. The author of the feature story has been published in “Art and Prose,” among other places. A desperate sex slave’s world changes with an unexpected gift and a magical means of escape. Feedback for Episode #41, “Set Another Place at the Table, I’m Bringing My Pimple,” was mixed, and often rather disgusting, like the story itself. Norm reminds the listeners that voting for “People’s Choice” and the contest for “Nigerian Scam Spam” remain open.
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Leonard returned to his home circle garrulous about his Russian strike experiences, but oppressively reticent about certain dark mysteries, which he alluded to under the resounding title of Siberian Magic…
Norm details numerous urban legends about revolting items found in fast food as an introduction to this week’s Drabble, a terrifying story about moldy fast food, circular breathing, and ghosts. The feature story showcases the work of 19th-Century author “Saki,” the pen name for Hector Hugh Monroe, heard earlier in Episode #19, “Sredni Vashtar.” Saki describes an encounter with Siberian magic, which Norm acts out using a dazzling variety of male and female caricature voices. An unreliable travelogue inspires skeptical table turning and an elaborate drawing-room prank. Feedback for Episode #40, “Marbles,” shows the depth of discussion among the listener forums. Finally, Norm announces the year’s “People’s Choice” Drabblecast poll, soliciting votes for the listeners’ favorites. He reminds us that the First Annual Nigerian Scam Spam contest is still accepting entries.
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Once you start to see them, they seem to be everywhere…
The Drabble News report, of a 5-year scientific study which showed staring at women’s breasts prolonged the lifespan of males, inspires a now-infamous skit. Norm details the riot among medical test subjects when the non-boobie control group was chosen. The feature story continues with theme of close observation of the Creator’s handiwork. The author, whose work has appeared in “Alien Skin” among other places, presents a disturbing tale of a crusty old misanthrope discovering a crude shortcut from an Impressionistic God, harkening back to the world’s creation. Is humanity ready for that knowledge? Feedback for Episode #39, “The Bee-Keepers,” was accidentally erased by Norm, but the forum comments were very positive, and stimulated a great discussion about parasites. Finally, the Drabblecast New Year’s Resolution is a raise in the submission pay rates.
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I’ve almost finished checking those measurements. That tooth—it looks homo sapien. This could be huge…
Norm presents, in his inimitable style, a one-minute review of his long-awaited movie indulgence, “Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem.” The week’s Drabble concerns an auto thief reaching the top of his game through — what else — nefarious means. The feature story’s author, Anden Sharp, gifted the Drabbleverse with Episode #32, “The Warden’s Last Day.” In the feature story, tragedy strikes the marriage of an archaeologist and her time traveler husband. Feedback for Episode #38, the Drabblecast’s first “Trifecta,” debated how well suited the story concepts were for their broadcast length, and was generally positive.
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Drabblecast #43 presents “Jelly Park“ by Aliya Whiteley.
In consideration of the holidays, Norm begins to see a common theme to this Drabblecast season: celebrating relationships.
Take, for example, the relationship between the holidays and a pile of extremely rare rhinoceros dung. Four piles, actually. All collected by conservationists and auctioned on E-bay to raise money for preservation of the species.
Norm speculates on the market timing of such a gift… A thousand dollars and you could have your very own rhino scat to accompany that Elf on your shelf. Which leads us to reflect upon the meaning of the holidays for all manner of people, animals, and legendary monsters.
But we digress.
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“Your work does sound most commendable, but I’m afraid there’s nothing I can do. Volunteer work, no matter how worthy, doesn’t pay taxes. There’s no such thing as a free lunch…”
Building on last episode’s interest in a Nigerian scam spame e-mail, Norm announces the first annual “Nigerian Scam Spam E-mail Contest,” arising from listener Strawman’s suggestion. We move on to the feature story, whose author Tom Williams appeared before on episode #30, “2084.” This week, Mr. Williams writes about a cynical Social Security officer who tires of the hard-luck cases he hears on a daily basis, deciding “there ain’t nobody but workers and slackers.” A special individual arrives to remind our protagonist of the truth of the social contract.
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It starts off like any normal bout of Pre-Menstrual Syndrome. I’m constipated, I’m depressed and I’ve got a pimple the size of a hazelnut on my chin…
This week’s Drabble details a junk mail scam, betraying Norm’s deep interest in e-mail spam scams, later manifesting itself in the Drabblecast’s signature “Nigerian Scam Spam Contest.” Norm wholeheartedly plugs “Between the Cracks Fiction,” the website archive of the feature story’s author, Kim McDougall. Norm issues a warning, that the feature is the grossest story Drabblecast has aired since “The Worm Within.” In it, a young woman spends a very difficult week dealing with a delicate medical condition. Feedback from Episode #36, “Pumpkin Seeds,” a Halloween special, was universally positive.
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“Michael…” his mother said, smiling and bending toward him. “Don’t you think we should invite your new neighbor over to play?”
In Drabble News: the field of Taxidermy triumphs with the successful recovery of a famous cryptozoological (mystery) animal. This week’s Drabble, “Shark attack,” provides a surprising role reversal. The feature story, also by author Ayn Sauer, continues the theme of vicious youth. “Marbles” tells the tale of young Michael and a precocious young collector named Alice. It details a kiddie cross, the sort of thing that scars for life, or elicits a frightful smile. Head-scratcher feedback for Episode #35, “The Guilt Trader,” follows.
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The Tehtix move so damn fast – scientists can’t ever keep up… and populations never know what hit them…
In a mind-bending tale of parasitic worms, intelligent wasps and a symbiotic virus, author J. Alan Pierce describes an unusual alien invasion that preserves its victims forever. The story connects themes of dreams and communication. Mr. Pierce had previously written Episode #18, “The One that Got Away.” Finally, Drabble News recounts the story of an alleged alien virus, arising from a meteor falling in Andes. A real-life story of contamination in the same region as the feature story co-incidence or premonition? Feedback #34, “The Suit,” rounded out the episode.
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The Drabblecast’s first ever trifecta special, three short stories asking there interesting questions. Is best model, best witness? How much is a dream worth? And what would you do to get a pound of flesh?
This episode marked the first “Trifecta,” as Norm produced an anthology of three short-ish stories connected by a theme. Norm left the specific theme open for speculation by listeners. Was it perhaps, “lethal consumption?” In the first story, “Witness,” a cleaning robot recounts a mysterious incident from its uniquely prosaic point of view. Next, “Wiggin’s General Store,” turns out to be a place that sells dreams. No, really, sells dreams and not the safe kind. (The author, Basil Godevenos, wrote the poem “The Truth about the Reaper” in Episode #34.) The final story, “Pork and Steak Eye” ponders the ethics of willing organ-donor clones. Upon reading the feedback from Episode #33, “Dessert Storm,” a good laugh was had by all.
Trifecta – a run of three wins or grand events. Origin: 1970s from “tri” + “perfecta”
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They say the gravity’s lessened here, air’s purified, filtered with vitamins and proteins. Even the light’s better – Luna Springs is on a mobile foundation timed to keep optimum reflected sunlight at all hours…
In Drabble News: a young girl born with four arms and four legs in India, believed to be the incarnation of a Hindu goddess, underwent surgery to remove her irregularities. Norm speculates on her attitude towards baby pictures later in life. Continuing on the theme of physical infirmities, the feature story features a sickly and wheelchair-bound grandfather. A man who found a place in a retirement community on the Moon, where “memories come alive with the moonlight and dance with the stars” leaving his grandson with a painful memory of his own. The story author, Patrick Hurley, has been published in “The Horror Library” and other venues. Feedback for Episode #32, “The Warden’s Last Day,” closes out the episode.
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“It was 11 at night, and only a few shouts of men in the lifer block penetrated the concrete walls of death row. My name is Michael Zlocinac, and I am a warden of U.S. Federal Penitentiary at Magdalena, New Mexico…”
On this episode of the Drabblecast, on his last day as warden, the titular protagonist explains his complicated history, and the moral conundrums it presents. A rumination on capital punishment, legacy, and war.
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