Damascus started to object, but feeling the stares from those in the infinite line behind him, he angrily flipped open his courier’s bag and grabbed two bloody, dripping muslin bags. He slapped them on the counter and huffed away…
A special episode of the Drabblecast podcast. For each of the seven deadly sins: gluttony, envy, wrath, lust, greed, pride, and sloth, comes a deadly drabble, written by 100 word auteur Jake Bible.
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This week the Drabblecast presents “Clown Eggs” by Jay Lake.
It is a story that introduces us to old “bull” clown Uncle Swarmy. It’s not just another day at the beach. You’ll learn more about the clown life cycle than you’re probably comfortable with!
The spring tide rolled across Momus Beach, tossing the flaccid corpses of clowns like so many torn balloons. Weathered to a dispirited pallor, they twisted in the foamy surf with the eternally surprised expressions of the dead..
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In this episode of the Drabblecast, we present “Arms and the Man” by Mary Turzillo. It’s a story of a divorced woman, burned out to love, who finds hope with a change of phylum. It’s truly squidlicious!
Norm Sherman also presents a Drabble News segment on the Hubble space telescope, topping it off with the now infamous bbardle on satellites and how best to pimp them.
Courtney had never considered squid love before. She was an accountant for a Chicago restaurant chain, and not really looking. After a bitter, acrimonious divorce, Courtney was burned out on romance…
Our Drabble is “Happy Endings” by Michael Young. The popular girls ignore this typical geek—that is until a very atypical bomb throws unusual wrinkles.
Enjoy the show!
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This episode brings you Charlie the Purple Giraffe, by David D. Levine.
It is a unique tale set inside a televised cartoon world. Our main character, Charlie the purple giraffe, has a disturbing and profound view of his world, one not shared by his best friend Jerry the orange squirrel. Floating question marks, colored word balloons, it may not be as light, airy, and humorous as appears at first blush.
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In America at the time, stuffed full as it was with young men looking for a draft dodge and housewives listless for the next wave of feminism, people needed an escape route. There seemed nothing better than to join the flotilla of balloons, private planes and transcendental meditators who made the journey through the stratosphere…
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“From fortress-building to cornet-playing, you never cease to amaze me, Beckie.” I replied, dumping my weekend luggage in a corner of the grm brickish vestibule…
In this episode’s Drabble, reading a spy thriller helps pass the time while an assassin waits for his target to return home. The feature story, Boiled Black Broth and Cornets, concerns a bizarrely convoluted plot by the narrator’s good friend to learn how to build a fortress, make mind-controlling soups, and play the cornet for the overall purpose of abducting and training an octet of musicians to put on a jazz concert.
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She’d been hunting full-grown pies for four years now. The little hand-held fruit pies were for kids– the preservatives made them slow and stupid– but pies in the wild, they were the true treasure, they had formed the culture of her people…
This episode of the Drabblecast features two pie-themed stories set in one fantasy world. In The Blueberry Pie, successfully slaying the titular food item stands as the first rite of passage for a child wishing to officially join the tribe of the pie hunters. One young pie hunter cannot ignore the allure of hunting a crusted, culinary legend. In The Last of the Pie Hunters, a peaceful gardener gives care and compassion to a battered warrior in the war between the pie hunters and the cake eaters.
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Though the boy’s birthdays occurred weeks apart, Mother combined their gift to please Father.
“You may choose your present this year, boys,” said she. “Something to fulfill your destiny, perhaps.” The boys were born to change the world…
The winners of the Drabblecast People’s Choice Award are announced: Best Drabble “Please Allow the Door to Close” by John Medaille (episode 89) and Best Feature Story, Floating Over Time by Robert Reed (episode 83). In the Drabble, gods get whatever they can afford at a marketplace of souls. The feature, The Food Processor, is a coming of age story about two brothers who use their birthday gift, an industrial food processor, to break free from the expectations and control of their formidable chef father.
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The 100th episode of the Drabblecast opens with Norm thanking donors, contributors, and listeners for its success and growth. Norm announces the opening of nominations for the second annual Drabblecast People’s Choice Awards, now including a category for drabbles as well as feature stories. In Cork Ringtone and the Break Dancing Pig, a desperate, Jesus-costumed liquor store robbery, which may be wholly unnecessary when a loan shark experiences an alien-induced vision of god. In Gerri’s Sounds, the events occurring in a torture chamber are experienced in disturbing detail by its sounds alone. In Cupid, Playing, new love is cut short by a deranged cherub.
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And with a mighty crack the sky opened up! There, sitting on a throne of ivory and omnipotence, was the Lord in all his terrible glory. And God said: “Let there be Funk!”
On this episode of the Drabblecast B-Sides podcast, a semi-lucid prophecy of a musically dominated future. Disco, punk, funk, and more are at odds, as maniacal genre fan devotion rules the streets!
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Since the Emergence they’d all had to learn: humans, certainly, but mostly the Lemurians…
Norm opens the episode with the “Top 10 List” of the most badass animals of 2008, each mentioned in the listener and news forums (winner: the “colossal squid,” of course). This episode’s Drabble, by Shane Shennen (who also contributed a Drabble to Episode #93), explores the villainous joys of building a robot army. Norm segues into the moody feature story by Samantha Henderson. Samantha was featured recently with her fantasy “Starry Night” (Episode #89), which coincidentally also involves crystals. In this story, a young member of the underground Lemurian species ponders his relationship to a human race captivated by their unearthly gemstones. Feedback for “Gifting Bliss” (Episode #91) was highly positive.
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Seen from a hundred feet up–if one could see any of this meeting, which they can’t – Saint Nick and his reindeer are red and brown dots standing on a potmarked gray island spanning hundreds of feet, lapped by waves…
Norm begins this Christmas episode with musical satire of the “Night Before Christmas” poem, twisting it into an explanation of the subprime derivative collapse: “We Don’t Have to Liquidate Christmas.” Jonathan C. Gillespie, a veteran of the podcast “Variant Frequencies” among others, focuses on those unsung worker heroes of Christmas, the everyday average reindeer, who pull a heavy load (and toys too) across the skies. As it turns out not even these mythic creatures are immune to office politics. The titular Dasher is given a chance to prove himself, and keep his day job, amid a desperate sky race around the world.
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“Squidges?” This was a term I hadn’t heard before. I was used to Maine brother colloquialisms, they had adopted a vocabulary largely unique to themselves, but this went beyond even that…
Norm rewards forum participant Wonko by reading his Drabble about an unwilling exposure to the majesty of nature. Rish Outfield and Big Ankelvitch, narrators of the Dunesteef podcast, assist Norm in telling Thomas Canfield’s story, “Squidges.” In it, an unsuspecting patron of eccentric auto-mechanics learns about the unseen gremlins plaguing cars the world round. Feedback from Frank Key’s surreal sci-fi piece, #90 “Far Far Away,” demonstrates the magnetic qualities of magnetic love monkeys to fans of the Drabblecast.
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“When I first met Jason he was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the studio, surrounded by burning candles. The air smelled like flowers and a sort of a fog hung in the room and I’m thinking- this dude is a little off…”
This podcast begins with a content warning, beware the “f-bomb.” Norm takes the occasion of Thanksgiving to politely thank civilization and his listeners. The feature is a faux documentary from Josh Roundtree, a contributor to “Realms of Fantasy.” Its subject is a record called “Gifting Bliss” from fantasy musician Jason Avery, whose band “Broken” has a magical healing power to listeners. The reading includes fake commercial breaks and Norm’s hysterical imitations of several sub-standard bands and clueless musicians. Lastly, Norm reads the feedback for the recent Halloween story, “The Box Born Wraith.”
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The bullet-riddled corpses of our dead crew-mates, all sixteen of them, are coffined up, and the coffins stacked as a makeshift ping pong table…
In Drabble News, Norm congratulates the Harper Collins Dictionary for adding the slang term “meh” (an utterance of indifference). For the Drabble segment, returning author and future editor Matthew Bey (responsible for Drabblecast #58, “Eggs,” among others) allows his strange nocturnal fantasies about pupating locomotives to cross into the listener’s daylight. Next, Norm reads from the work of Frank Key, the British surreal author whose ‘lopsided fiction’ has graced the Drabblecast on numerous occasions, including episode #190. The selection: “The Goat God.” The feature describes the Flying Dutchman space journey of the starship “Corrugated Cardboard,” and the strange transformations of its surviving crew. The crew’s destination: a tiny pink planet where blind, mute, magnetic love monkeys frolic. Do these wonderful mythical creatures even exist, or are they figments of the unreliable narrator’s imagination? Finally, Norm reads from the positive feedback heaped by readers upon Episode #86, “Half Sneeze Johnny.”
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“Just one thing,” I said, nodding towards the cheesecake. “How do you do it?”
Norm Sherman gives us more of the Mega-Beast Death-Match. The Drabbles for this episode depict lawn ornament assassins and a man’s true form. The feature story describes the horrible price others pay for your health foods. Feedback from “Witchcraft in the Harem” by Aliya Whiteley (Episode 74) and episode 75’s Trifecta IV.
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“I’m in serious trouble here,” I said to the pale man. “Give me some words of wisdom.”
This episode’s Drabble details a disturbing beginning. The feature is a haunting tale of desire and eternity. Norm Sherman gives us more information on the Mega-Beach Death-Match, which contains a squid with tank treads, a giant wasp, and a robotic tanuki. Feedback is from Episode #96 “The Story-Teller” by Saki.
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Drabblecast #43 presents “Jelly Park“ by Aliya Whiteley.
In consideration of the holidays, Norm begins to see a common theme to this Drabblecast season: celebrating relationships.
Take, for example, the relationship between the holidays and a pile of extremely rare rhinoceros dung. Four piles, actually. All collected by conservationists and auctioned on E-bay to raise money for preservation of the species.
Norm speculates on the market timing of such a gift… A thousand dollars and you could have your very own rhino scat to accompany that Elf on your shelf. Which leads us to reflect upon the meaning of the holidays for all manner of people, animals, and legendary monsters.
But we digress.
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“Your work does sound most commendable, but I’m afraid there’s nothing I can do. Volunteer work, no matter how worthy, doesn’t pay taxes. There’s no such thing as a free lunch…”
Building on last episode’s interest in a Nigerian scam spame e-mail, Norm announces the first annual “Nigerian Scam Spam E-mail Contest,” arising from listener Strawman’s suggestion. We move on to the feature story, whose author Tom Williams appeared before on episode #30, “2084.” This week, Mr. Williams writes about a cynical Social Security officer who tires of the hard-luck cases he hears on a daily basis, deciding “there ain’t nobody but workers and slackers.” A special individual arrives to remind our protagonist of the truth of the social contract.
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