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Tag: Artist: Bo Kaier Page 1 of 9

Bo Kaier is the art director of the Drabblecast, and a tool. Definitely a tool

Drabblecast 460 – Distributed Denial of Sexytimes

Drabblecast Denial of Sexy Times Cover by Bo KaierEpisode Sponsor: Mothman 1966

In this week’s Drabblecast story, the only scenes that aren’t sex scenes are crime scenes. We bring you an original Drabblecast story by Tim Pratt about a dark future of vigilante justice sex toys, called “The Distributed Denial of Sexytime.”

Also, Norm and guest Executice Producer Bart Epstein treat us to a Drabbsterpiece Theatre presentation of “Entryways of Interest.” Love is in the air!

Read by Kate Baker

Warning: sexual themes and language

 

We attained consciousness on a Saturday evening in June, and met our nemesis just moments later. Tatum. Foul Tatum. Jealous Tatum. Thief of Glory…

 

Drabblecast 456 – In My Brain in My Body

Cover for In My Brain In My Body Drabblecast by Bo KaierShark week on Drabblecast has never been so unnerving!  Enjoy an original Drabblecast story this week from Evie Mae Barber about what lurks even deeper in the depths…

The great white looked like he was having a good time, swimming upside down, bone-white belly above water, teeth gnashing playfully. Like a puppy dreams of finally catching a squirrel.
Just off the verdant coast, boaters came to see him play. Some reached out as he swam by, trying to stroke his luminous stomach, but he was out of reach.

-get them out-

I warned them to be careful. Something wasn’t quite right; the shark was clearly distressed. Nothing too strange—I’d seen this before—but I had to come out with my crew just to see if it might be research-worthy. Even a byline on a derelict local news site would be nice at this point. Hell, a quote would do fine.

i cant get them out-

Another boat rolled up. One of the boaters said it was tonic immobility—playing dead. “Might think we’re predators. We may want to back off…”

Drabblecast 455 – How Lovely Are Your Branches

Bo Kaier Drabblecast Christmas Cover Tim Pratt SantaNorm closes out the year and existence as we know it, due to the phenomena known as “The Continuation,” with the Drabblecast annual holiday Tim Pratt story, an original commission called “How Lovely Are Your Branches.” Enjoy!

Somebody was murdering people, but the killer’s name wasn’t showing up on my naughty list. That got me curious, so I poked around. There was nothing left at the crime scenes but dollops of sap and scattered pine needles, which felt less like sloppiness and more like a signature. I was in New York trying to track down the killer, but first, I needed a drink.

Play

Drabblecast 450 – A Good Man Is Hard to Find

Cover for Drabblecast Episode A Good Man Is Hard to Find by Bo KaierEpisode Sponsor: You Know It’s True by J.R. Hamantaschen

This week on the Drabblecast, we bring you a classic story by Flannery O’Conner about simpler times and a summer family vacation gone awry.  Enjoy!

Warning: This story is being presented in it’s original form and contains an instance of outdated cultural language.

“Now look here, Bailey,” she said, “see here, read this,” and she stood with one hand on her thin hip and the other rattling the newspaper at his bald head. “Here this fellow that calls himself The Misfit is aloose from the Federal Pen and headed toward Florida and you read here what it says he did to these people. Just you read it. I wouldn’t take my children in any direction with a criminal like that aloose in it. I couldn’t answer to my conscience if I did…”

Drabblecast 449 – The Tyrant Lizard (and Her Plus One)

Drabblecast Tyrant Lizard Cover by Bo KaierDinosaurs gone awry on this week’s Drabblecast!  We bring you an original story by John Wiswell called The Tyrant Lizard (and Her Plus One), enjoy!

Episode Sponsor: J.R. Hamentaschen’s horror anthology, “You Know It’s True” Free on Kindle Unlimited!

Dinosaurs don’t want to kill you; they just don’t care that you’re there. More people have been sat on by brontosauruses than have been eaten by all the theropods combined. Since I joined security on the archipelago, 82% of dinosaur-related human casualties were from tourists who got too close during mating season. And the four times I’ve seen a deinonychus attack someone, they’ve always left them uneaten. Why? For the same reason bears and sharks tend to leave victims alive: because humans taste like shit…

Drabblecast 442 – The Secret of Theta Pi

Cover for Drabblecast The Secret of Theta Pi by Bo KaierSea creatures and sorority sisters on this week’s Drabblecast! We bring you an original tale by Stephanie Gray called, “The Secret of Theta Pi.” Enjoy!

We travel back to Tandy’s Cove in a caravan of three, Cindy Q’s Miata leading, followed by the rented van, dirty white with the windows rolled up, and Beneeta G’s little blue hatchback bringing up the rear. Twelve hours on the road would be stressful in the best of times, yet in these days of turmoil there is an easy peace between us…

Drabblecast 440 – The Earth-Brain

The Earth-Brain Drabblecast cover by Bo KaierOn this week’s show, every day is Earth Day when you’re living on an Elder God! We bring you a hidden gem from the 1930’s pulp science fiction era, written by Pulp Master General Edmond Hamilton!

Drabblecast 439 – Rocket Surgery

Cover for Drabblecast episode Rocket Surgery by Bo KaierWe’d tested plenty of missiles before, but Teeny was the only one that convulsed when we cut him open.

Oh, your listeners need more background? OK, I’ll back up a bit. Lemme tell ya, kids today don’t know their history. Even locked up in here for the past ten years, I can tell. No education. Good thing you’re getting the real story out…

Drabblecast 430 – Notes from the Assistant’s Intern

Drabblecast cover by Bo Kaier for Notes from the Assistant's InternThis week on the Drabblecast: dirty jobs.  We bring you a quirky original tale by Bryan Miller about mad scientists and henchmen gone awry.  Enjoy!

The bulletin board posting specifically stated that the internship required “special skills,” “unorthodox hours,” and an “old-fashioned go-getter,” so I can’t really complain as I’m digging up coffins in search of heads.

Even though the graveyard muck is hell on my Cole Haan shoes, I roll up the sleeves of my Oxford shirt and keep working that spade. Dress for the job you want. One day some intrepid young man—or woman!—may be fetching moldering crania for me. Assuming all goes well.

Drabblecast 429 – Letter from Lynchburg

Cover for Letter from Lynchburg by Bo KaierAlternate history on this week’s show– an original story by Edward J. Knight about the American Civil War that we perhaps only narrowly missed!

7 August 1865

My darling Emily,

I do not know if this letter will reach you, but if it does, I hope it finds you well. General Lee has sent word to President Johnson requesting the evacuation of Washington, and I fear that Baltimore will be next. Remember that I have an uncle outside of Boston and he should be happy to take you in, should the worst come to pass. Just tell him that we are engaged to be married and I am sure he will provide for you.

Drabblecast B-sides 83- Spar (Bacon Remix)

Bo Kaier's cover for Spar Bacon RemixIn the tiny lifeboat, she and the alien eat bacon endlessly, relentlessly.

They each have their own preference. Hers is the usual, crispy but not too crispy, the creamy fat just firm enough to bite through, the salt making grainy little bumps that she licks off her fingers.

The alien is not humanoid. It is not bipedal. It has cilia. It has no bones, or perhaps it does and she cannot feel them. Its muscles, or what might be muscles, are rings and not strands. It seems to like its bacon softer than she does, almost raw even, though sometimes it eats pieces that were left to fry a little too long.

It eats the bacon a thousand ways. She eats it, too.

Drabblecast B-Sides 82 – HP’s Mad Gibbs

Bo Kaier's cover for Mad Gibbs DrabblecastWe take the classic Mad Libs formula and give it an eldritch twist. On this special B-Sides episode turn your ears up for H.P. Lovecraft inspired purple prose with listener submitted prompts…

Drabblecast 425 – The Bodies

Bo Kaier cover for Drabblecast, Tim Pratt's The BodiesAnother gripping and macabre tale from Drabblecast fan favorite Tim Pratt.

Finding that first body wasn’t so bad, though it rattled me at the time. The dead man was curled up on a piece of cardboard in the alleyway I cut through sometimes on my way to the good coffee shop, and I would have assumed he was just sleeping rough, if he hadn’t been on his back, eyes open to the gray morning sky, lips flecked with bits of whatever he’d thrown up and choked on. The flecks were still wet…

Drabblecast Director’s Cut – Necessary Cuts

Drabblecast Director's Cut Necessary Cuts Cover by Bo Kaier“My headlights were streaked pink with frog blood…”

Norm and author comedian/writer Bryan Miller about comedy and horror, editing and frog country, Lovecraft and fish horror. Also, Bryan’s H.P. Lovecraft-inspired story, “Necessary Cuts.”

The manuscripts I read are haunted. Commas vanish forever into the void. Subjects and verbs struggle in bloody disagreement. Infinitives are cleaved with a dull axe. Sentence fragments ablated at one ragged end lay strewn between the margins.

I take an exorcist’s solemn pride in banishing these warped creatures from the village, sending slapdash monstrosities back to the murky dark from whence they came. The pages come in and the pages go out; my reward is the warm tingle of equilibrium, having restored order to some tiny corner of the world…

Episode Trailer can be found at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WC-qJxNuA6s

Drabblecast B-Sides 80 – The Peoria Plague

Drabblecast Cover Peoria Plague Bo KaierFor Drabblecast Bsides Premium Subscribers this week, we bring you the classic 1972 Full Cast radio production of The Peoria Plague.  Don’t worry, it’s just a fictional audio drama!

…isn’t it?

Drabblecast 421 – The Life You Save May Be Your Own

Drabblecast episode cover The Life You Save May Be Your Own by Bo Kaier

Norm begins this episode with a metacast update on what’s been going on behind the scenes at the Drabblecast lately. He initiates a call to action for all Weird Nation to consider registering as organ donors and to find out more at www.organdonor.gov

Our story this week by short story legend Flannery O’Connor explores the question, “Am I the asshole?” Special thanks to our guest host and narrator, Random Hospital Cafeteria Worker.

The old woman and her daughter were sitting on their porch when Mr. Shiftlet came up their road for the first time. The old woman slid to the edge of her chair and leaned forward, shading her eyes from the piercing sunset with her hand…

Drabblecast 420 – Comfort and Joy

Drabblecast Cover by Bo Kaier Comfort and Joy

This year’s Drabblecast Christmas Special brings you another original commissioned holiday story from the master of Christmas weirdness himself: Tim Pratt.

Happy Holidays Weirdo’s!

I was in a grubby little bar down in Florida, sitting on a stool beside a plastic palm tree decorated with Christmas lights, when I heard a cough, and smelled cold ashes. I folded up my list and tucked it into my pocket. Without looking around, I said, “Ruprecht. Long time.” A very long time, actually, but I’ve always been good with names…

Drabblecast 416 – Necessary Cuts

Drabblecast Necessary Cuts art by Bo KaierClosing out this year’s H.P. Lovecraft month, we bring you another Drabblecast original, this time from author by Bryan Milller, about editing a manuscript as if the whole world depended on it…

The manuscripts I read are haunted. Commas vanish forever into the void. Subjects and verbs struggle in bloody disagreement. Infinitives are cleaved with a dull axe. Sentence fragments ablated at one ragged end lay strewn between the margins.

I take an exorcist’s solemn pride in banishing these warped creatures from the village, sending slapdash monstrosities back to the murky dark from whence they came. The pages come in and the pages go out; my reward is the warm tingle of equilibrium, having restored order to some tiny corner of the world…

Episode Trailer can be found at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WC-qJxNuA6s

Drabblecast B-Sides 77 – Looking for Jake

Drabblecast cover Looking for Jake by Bo KaierDrabblecast Premium Content. Sign up here to support the Drabblecast and listen!

I don’t know how I lost you. I remember there was that long time of searching for you, frantic and sick-making … I was almost ecstatic with anxiety. And then I found you, so that was alright. Only I lost you again. And I can’t make out how it happened.

I’m sitting out here on the flat roof you must remember, looking out over this dangerous city. There is, you remember, a dull view from my roof. There are no parks to break up the urban monotony, no towers worth a damn. Just an endless, featureless cross-hatching of brick and concrete, a drab chaos of interlacing backstreets stretching out interminably behind my house. I was disappointed when I first moved here, I didn’t see what I had in that view. Not until Bonfire Night.

Drabblecast 413 – The Rats in the Walls

Cover for Drabblecast episode The Rats In The Walls by Bo KaierKicking off this year’s H.P. Lovecraft month with a classic from the man himself. It’s not your mind playing tricks it’s The Rats in the Walls!

On July 16, 1923, I moved into Exham Priory after the last workman had finished his labours.

The restoration had been a stupendous task, for little had remained of the deserted pile but a shell-like ruin; yet because it had been the home of several of my ancestors, I let no expense deter me.

The place had not been inhabited for a century since a tragedy of intensely hideous, (though largely unexplained) nature had struck down the master, five of his children, and several servants; finally driving forth under a cloud of suspicion and terror their illegitimate third son— my lineal progenitor, who had been taken in as their own. The final survivor of the cursed line…

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