Drabblecast Covers Collage 2018 01

Category: Strange Page 4 of 8

Drabblecast B-Sides 35 – Teaching Bigfoot to Read

Cover for Drabblecast B-Sides episode 35, Teaching Bigfoot to Read, by Mary MatticeDear Bigfoot,

Life on the moon sucks. Dad got home early from the air factory today and I wasn’t done cleaning the dishes from breakfast so he broke my breakfast bowl over my head. Guess I’ll have to eat out of his bowl tomorrow.

Dad says he’s gonna have to get a new job. Not that he told me. He told Melinda, the girl he’s been bringing home lately. They drank the last of his screech — that’s this nasty rum like they used to make back on Earth — then started poking each other on the bottom bunk while I sat on the top. Dad caught me peaking and near took my eye out when he threw his boot. Melinda calmed him down at least, and they got back to poking at each other.

Drabblecast 306 – Trifecta XXVI

Cover for Drabblecast 306, Trifecta XXVI, by Gino MorettoWhile sipping my tea in the morning, I find a small, only two inches long, naked female corpse on the bottom of the cup. Her white skin fades int the white porcelain, tiny gobs of tea leafs cover her round breasts. I immediately slap the cup down, and snick across to the phone to call the police. I forget all about checking if she’s really dead. Of course, how could I give her a mouth to mouth resuscitation, if not? Her body is about the size of a match-stick.

Drabblecast 305 – Testimony Before an Emergency Session of The Naval Cephalopod Command

Cover for Drabblecast 305, Testimony Before an Emergency Session of The Naval Cephalopod Command, by Bo KaierThe squid is a solipsistic psychopathic God with a lust for submarine hull and a mandate from Ronald Reagan branded on its hunting tentacles. It sweeps east from Iceland in the cold under the
thermocline, alone in the dark, solitary lord of a solitary place.

 
 
 
 

Drabblecast B-Sides 33 – Free Range

Cover for Drabblecast B-Sides episode 33, Free Range, by Haley GrunlohAfter she lost interest in the green eggs—yes, green chicken eggs (taste the same, look dyed, so what’s the point?)—my neighbor Johanna started raising black chickens. Yes, black ones. They’re popular in China for reasons ranging from nutrition to superstition, and she’d gotten three hens and a rooster from a guy in Chinatown—in exchange for the last two green-egg chickens she had.

“Green is good now in China,” he said. “Helps make a man’s pole longer.”

“Right,” she told him. “Don’t need to kill rhinoceros and go to jail for long pole anymore.”

Drabblecast B-Sides 30 – The Tribe

Cover for Drabblecast B-Sides episode 30, The Tribe, by Bo KaierThe grass is cool against my skin. A nice contrast from the burning hot sun hanging in a sky the color of pale skin, sickly and suffocating. I’m naked but I think I’ve always been this way. There’s a moment of comfort, like everything is going to be OK, before I remember that nothing is going to be OK, and everything is fucked.

Drabblecast B-Sides 29 – The Lemon-Green Spaghetti-Loud Dynamite-Dribble Day

Cover for Drabblecast B-Sides episode 29, The Lemon-Green Spaghetti-Loud Dynamite-Dribble Day, by Bo KaierTestimony of Witness No. 5671 before the Special Presidential Investigative Commission. Leonard Drucker, thirty-one years old, unmarried, of 238 West 10th Street, New York City, Borough of Manhattan, employed as a salesman by the Har-Bern Office Partition Company of 205 East 42nd Street, New York City, Borough of Manhattan. Witness, being placed under oath, does swear and depose:
Well, I don’t know, the telephone woke me up about eight A.M. on that Wednesday morning. I grabbed at it, half falling out of bed, and finally managed to juggle it up to my ear. A girl’s voice was saying, “Hello, Lennie? Is that you, Lennie? Hello?”

Cover for Drabblecast 290, The Screaming Door, by Forrest Warner

Drabblecast 290 – The Screaming Door

Cover for Drabblecast 290, The Screaming Door, by Forrest WarnerIt has been two hundred days since the door to my study began screaming. I was nodding over a volume of Edwin Corang’s collected prose when I first felt it; a curious ripple that moved through the
room, standing my hair on edge, followed by the sensation of coffee spilling into my lap as the screaming began…

 

 

 

Cover for Drabblecast episode 287, Sweetie, by Raoul Izzard

Drabblecast 287 – Sweetie

Cover for Drabblecast episode 287, Sweetie, by Raoul IzzardAudiences have so little respect, these days.

Admittedly, my little travelling show isn’t what it once was. We’ve been on the road for a long, long time. But I like to think that for the discerning customer, we still provide value for money. An experience you can’t get from the computer screen–the modern freakshow–despite all its tricks and special effects…

 

 

Drabblecast B-Sides 23 – Picobeasts

Cover for Drabblecast B-Sides episode 23, Picobeasts, by Jonathan SimsMost Helpful Customer Reviews

5.0 Stars

“Technological marvel, and affordable too!!!”After disappointing experiences with related products, I decided to take a chance with the new Picobeast Remote Camera, Model TA-55. What a wonder! The set-up was easy, the instructions clear and concise. I’ve been trying to get my ten year-old son interested in the natural world, and this device has been a godsend. A wooded ravine runs next to our backyard, and while I assumed we had nocturnal neighbors, it was a revelation when just one night’s surveillance yielded images of raccoons and opossums and a red fox happily going about their lives. My son was so enchanted that he insisted on making treats for our wild friends. Within the week, our bait was bringing a parade of animals, including a badger and mink, and what looks for the world to be a wolf-dog hybrid, if not a pure Canis lupus. I don’t know which of my neighbors owns the beast, much less keeps it hidden…

Cover for Drabblecast episode 286, Unique Chicken Goes in Reverse, by David Krummenacher

Drabblecast 286 – Unique Chicken Goes in Reverse

Cover for Drabblecast episode 286, Unique Chicken Goes in Reverse, by David KrummenacherFather Leggett stood on the sidewalk and looked up at the three narrow stories of gray brick that was 207 East Charlton Street. Compared to the other edifices on Lafayette Square—the Colonial Dames fountain, the Low house, the Turner mansion, the cathedral of course—this house was decidedly ordinary, a reminder that even Savannah had buildings that did only what they needed to do, and nothing more.
He looked again at the note the secretary at St. John the Baptist had left on his desk. This note read:
OCONNORS
MARY
PRIEST?
CHICKEN!

Drabblecast B-Sides 21 – On the Return of Pabstus Tack

Cover for Drabblecast B-Sides episode 21, On the Return of Pabstus Tack, by Spencer BinghamPabstus Tack came back! He’d been away to sea. The sea was vast and wet. That is what he told them, at the symposium held to mark his return. He was not believed, at first. How could anything be so vast?, so wet?, they asked. He had an implausible air, and a ratty moustache. The moustache was new…

Cover for Drabblecast episode 281, Doubleheader XII, by Spencer Bingham

Drabblecast 281 – Doubleheader XII

Cover for Drabblecast episode 281, Doubleheader XII, by Spencer BinghamPabstus Tack, Pabstus Sludge, Pabstus! Pabstus! Of him we sing. We sing his praises, it seems to me, for want of anything better to do. Pabstus Tack sits on his great golden throne, belching out light, a blinding light as gorgeous as it is uncanny. And yet it is an impure light, that is certain, for with Pabstus Tack comes Pabstus Sludge…

Cover for Drabblecast episode 280, Trifecta XXV, by Matthew Mattice

Drabblecast 280 – Trifecta XXV

Cover for Drabblecast episode 280, Trifecta XXV, by Matthew MatticeYou’ve been one-legged since the lasso trap. Your personal ad says “Kids: undecided” even though you desperately want two.

When the maître d’ shows you to your blind date’s table, you are pleased with her prominent forehead and symmetric face. She has potential.

Before you can sit, her eyes drift to where your missing leg would be and snap back to your face. She forces a smile.

You talk menu.

She likes the braised shank.

Drabblecast B-Sides 20 – In Search of The Burmese Floridian Python with Connor Choadsworth

Drabblecast B-Sides cover 20, In Search of the Burmese Floridian Python with Connor Choadsworth, by Bo KaierPallid, oddly-accented Cryptozoologist Connor Choadsworth and his slack-jawed, knuckle-dragging camera man Jeff journey deep into the Florida Everglades in search of the elusive and decidedly misplaced “Burmese Floridian Python…”

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Drabblecast B-Sides 20 – In Search of The Burmese Floridian Python with Connor Choadsworth

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Cover for Drabblecast episode 279, The Country Doctor, by Roo Vandegrift

Drabblecast 279 – The Country Doctor

Cover for Drabblecast episode 279, The Country Doctor, by Roo VandegriftGardner was drowning, and strangers were laying hands on the bones of my forebears. I felt obligated to see that liberties weren’t taken with my grandmother, my great-grandmother, and other good, God-fearing ladies, so I put the business on auto pilot and made the drive as if on auto pilot myself.

Drabblecast 271 – Trifecta XXIV

Cover for Drabblecast episode 271, Trifecta 24, by Gino MorettoWe listen to the spidersong. The spiders are far away, just at the edge of our senses, whispering a haunting and beautiful melody into our minds. The grown-ups are oblivious, as always. They are having several conversations at once around the campfire, laughing and gossiping. It’s a nuisance because we can’t enjoy the spidersong nearly as well, not with all the distraction. We use a reliable trick — we have Sheila ask for a story…

Drabblecast B-Sides 18 – On the Vinegar Valves of Venus

Cover for Drabblecast B-Sides 18, On the Vinegar Valves of Venus, by Bo KaierMonsignor’s Log, stardate the Millennium Feast of Saints Blot & Cugat…

It was a very special day, so I wore the least tatty of my vestments. The chasuble is only slightly frayed, the stains on the cincture have faded, the alb, granted, is little better than a rag.  I cannot get the grease out of the amice, and the stole is in tatters. The less said about the maniple the better. But by adjusting the lighting so it played through the cobwebs I think only the sharpest-eyed of congregants will have noticed. I did my best to disguise the stink by spraying the chapel with an aerosol can of Essence of Blood of the Lamb. It was decocted, of course, not from the real blood of a real lamb, but from chemical compounds manufactured in the lab by boffins. I have seen pictures of so-called “real” lambs in a codex. They look like tinier versions of sheep, if, that is, they were drawn to scale. Who knows?

Cover for Drabblecast episode 263, Betty Flesh and the Meat Man, by Bo Kaier

Drabblecast 263 – Betty Flesh and the Meat Man

Cover for Drabblecast episode 263, Betty Flesh and the Meat Man, by Bo Kaier“Your suitor’s here!” Ma Flesh hurried into the back room of the butcher’s shop. “Are you presentable?”

Betty waited there amongst the swinging, marbled yellow cow carcasses. The wooden butcher’s table was smooth under her fingertips, and solid as the earth. Knives glinted from the walls, each reflecting a tiny, seated Betty and the thin figure of Ma Flesh standing over her.

“Sit up straight,” Ma snapped. “And don’t scratch. It could lead to tragedy. I mean it.”

“I won’t.” Betty didn’t dare ask why Ma was so against scratching. Her head itched but she didn’t lift her hand. Ma had cut off Betty’s hair to stop her from being so floaty. She hoped the suitor liked short hair. If he was blind, he’d like it, she thought. She could lay her head in his lap and he could tell her mood by the bumps on her skull. He could stroke behind her ears, let his fingers drift up to her crown, slide down her neck–

“It isn’t Saturday.” Ma rapped on Betty’s head with the back of her shining metal hook. “No going floaty today, girl.”

Cover for Drabblecast episode 259, The Last of the O-Forms, by Jacob Wayne Bryner

Drabblecast 259 – The Last of the O-Forms

Cover for Drabblecast episode 259, The Last of the O-Forms, by Jacob Wayne BrynerAt the sack’s bottom, beneath an empty donut box, he found the beef jerky. It tasted mostly of pepper, but underneath it had a tingly, metallic flavor he tried not to think about. Who knew what it might have been made from? He doubted there were any original-form cows, the o-cows, left to slaughter…

Cover for Drabblecast episode 248, Cockroach Hat, by Greg Cravens

Drabblecast 248 – The Cockroach Hat

Cover for Drabblecast episode 248, Cockroach Hat, by Greg Cravens“What I don’t like about it,” said Cliffe, “is that is it’s just a metaphor instead of something real.”

“What if it was real?” I (Sam) asked. “What if it was me and I actually turned into a cockroach someday?”

This episode of the Drabblecast is all about crazy relationships. In the drabble, it’s apparent that finding Mr. Right is difficult no matter who (or what) you are. In the feature, Sam wakes up one day to discover he has been transformed into a giant cockroach. He spends the rest of his day on a surreal quest, not only to return to his normal self, but also to save his girlfriend from threats both mundane and extraordinary, with the hope a new start together.

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