Drabblecast Covers Collage 2018 01
Cover for Drabblecast episode 248, Cockroach Hat, by Greg Cravens

Drabblecast 248 – The Cockroach Hat

Cover for Drabblecast episode 248, Cockroach Hat, by Greg Cravens“What I don’t like about it,” said Cliffe, “is that is it’s just a metaphor instead of something real.”

“What if it was real?” I (Sam) asked. “What if it was me and I actually turned into a cockroach someday?”

This episode of the Drabblecast is all about crazy relationships. In the drabble, it’s apparent that finding Mr. Right is difficult no matter who (or what) you are. In the feature, Sam wakes up one day to discover he has been transformed into a giant cockroach. He spends the rest of his day on a surreal quest, not only to return to his normal self, but also to save his girlfriend from threats both mundane and extraordinary, with the hope a new start together.

Cover for Mega Beast Death Match 2012 round 4 podcast, art by Bo Kaier

Mega Beast Death Match 2012 – Episode 4

Cover for Mega Beast Death Match 2012 round 4 podcast, art by Bo Kaier“The Moan of Consent”

Cockability…
Sperm Cookies…
And who would win in a fight to the death:
A salamander necromancer, a talking horse that runs the speed of light or a 2 and a half ton barricuda/anteater made of steel?

Warning:  Mature Immature Audiences Only!

Cover for Drabblecast episode 247, How I Crippled a World for just .001 Cents, by Bo Kaier

Drabblecast 247 – How I Crippled a World for Just 0.01 Cents

Cover for Drabblecast episode 247, How I Crippled a World for just .001 Cents, by Bo Kaier“You are accused of stealing the intellectual property of Einstein, Dirac and Heisenberg.” The middle-aged speaker waved his finger at Professor Hillabin, more in the manner of a prosecutor than a judge.

This episode of the Drabblecast illustrates the folly of bureaucracy. In the drabble, one by one an entire classroom of students are promoted to be their own teachers. In the feature, a lost, dimension-hopping scientist is trapped in a world where scientific theories are considered intellectual property. Unable to perform his calculations without them, he finds himself on trial for failure to pay royalties. When he cannot convince the court to take mercy on him, he pulls looses a devastating strategy.

Cover for Drabblecast episode 246, Kidney, by David Flett

Drabblecast 246 – The Kidney

Cover for Drabblecast episode 246, Kidney, by David FlettThe shop bell rang at the front of the St. George Tim Hortons. I didn’t see who came in, but when Shel looked up, his eyes widened.

“Crap.” He whispered. “It’s my kidney.”

“Your kidney?” I asked. I turned in my seat, but Shel jerked me back by the shoulder. He held up his free hand to shield his face.

“Shhh,” he murmured. “Don’t look at it…”

The theme of this episode of the Drabblecast is awkward run-ins. In the Drabble (pulled from the Dribblecast) a man returns home from work and is unable to relate to his wife. In the feature, a stalker ex-kidney illuminates how ending relationships is akin to losing a part of yourself.

Cover for Drabblecast episode 245, A Nice Jewish Golem, by Tom Morganti

Drabblecast 245 – A Nice Jewish Golem

Cover for Drabblecast episode 245, A Nice Jewish Golem, by Tom Morganti“Mrs. Levine, it is hard enough for someone to find the right person to love in the world, even with all the people in it. For Yeshua, it is almost impossible. Would you have him fall in love with a human girl and pine for her until his heart broke and we would have to erase
the letter that gives him life? Reduce him back to a lifeless thing?”

This episode of the Drabblecast is about adoption. In the drabble, a grieving father performs terrible experiments with the comfort food brought by well-intentioned neighbors. In the feature, a fawning mother grapples with conflicting fears for her son, a golem, when he falls in love with a non-Jewish construct. Despite her distress, she must ask: In a world where options for love are severely limited, what role does faith play?

Cover for Mega-Beast Death-Match 2012 episode 3, Siaflease vs Flamingoliath vs Dreadnaughtilus, art by Bo Kaier

Mega Beast Death Match 2012 – Episode 3

Cover for Mega-Beast Death-Match 2012 episode 3, Siaflease vs Flamingoliath vs Dreadnaughtilus, art by Bo Kaier“If it’s already in there, it’s already on there…
(This is a discussion)”

Bo’s surgically installed vagina…
Ron Paul’s detachable penis…
And who would win in a fight:

A 35-foot tall flamingo clad in biblical armor, a 2-ton flying nautilus that shoots air torpedos, or six calculating, vindictive Labrador retriever-sized Siamese cat/fleas with serrated mandibles and heat vision.

Warning:  Explicit, offensive and unsettling content.  Don’t blame us for listening!  Unless you love it…

More information about this year’s competition, and the ‘heats’ that produced its competitors, can be found at mega-beasts.com.

Subscribe to the Death-Match Podcast via iTunes!

Drabblecast B-Sides 17 – Exploring

Cover for Drabblecast B-Sides episode 17, Exploring, by Bo KaierRecorded Live at Balticon 2012

The two began their journey again, stopping at the edge of the graveyard.  “It sure looks scary in there,” the little brown-haired girl said.

What’s scary is that if you don’t get your ass moving, it’s gonna be Wednesday before I get my freak on.

“Yeah,” said Socks, tugging open the wrought iron gate.  “But nothing’s gonna stop us, cause we’re brave explorers!”

Drabblecast 244 – Doubleheader XI

It had rolled and tumbled, whatever it was, gelatinous and tentacled, from lake to canal to stream.

People watched from the shore, following it with opera glasses and sea telescopes. Some thought it was a squid, others an octopus, others still just a glob of fatty flesh from some aquatic animal long torn apart and rotten. It was milky and translucent with tiny red hooks lining the each of its sixteen flacid arms. Deep blue bruises speckled the skin, wrinkling in like spots on a tomato. It had no visible eyes…

This double header features two “postcard stories” by Will Ludwigsen. In Nora’s Thing, sickly Nora’s sister and friends bring her to a mysterious creature they hope has healing powers. In Endless Encore, a sinister puppet show occurs nightly for its audience of one.

Cover for Drabblecast episode 243, The Other Lila, by Richard K. Green

Drabblecast 243 – The Other Lila

Cover for Drabblecast episode 243, The Other Lila, by Richard K. GreenI step out of a porter booth in the overheated Los Angeles station and reach up to peel off my winter coat. That’s when I realize something’s wrong with my hand — it feels numb and prickly, and the fingers aren’t quite responding the way they’re supposed to. Weird. I don’t recall circulatory problems being listed among the possible side effects…

This episode of The Drabblecast explores the meaning of identity. In the drabble, two friends swap bodies after being struck by lightning, but is anyone paying attention? In the feature, having an extra finger after a teleporter accident turns out to be the least of Lila’s worries; she now must contend with an entirely additional Lila.

Mega Beast Death Match 2012 round 2 Cover, art Bo Kaier

Mega Beast Death Match 2012 – Episode 2

Mega Beast Death Match 2012 round 2 Cover, art Bo Kaier“You Can’t Roll 3 and Pick 2, M@therf%#cker…”

Snorks vs. Smurfs
Chicken vs. Platypus Egg

And who would win in a fight to the death… a 6-foot tall cricket with bat wings, a 400 lb. octopus with cobra legs or a platypus that can manipulate probability…

More information about this year’s competition, and the ‘heats’ that produced its competitors, can be found at mega-beasts.com.

Subscribe to the Death-Match Podcast via iTunes!

Cover for Drabblecast episode 242, Transfer of Ownership, by Jonathan Sims

Drabblecast 242 – Transfer of Ownership

Cover for Drabblecast episode 242, Transfer of Ownership, by Jonathan SimsMy new occupant is larger than Carson was. I was made for her, within a certain tolerance for the inevitable changes in human specifications that come with age, changes in health, and abundance or scarcity…

This episode of the Drabblecast is all about Mechs, aside from the beat poetry that it begins and ends with. The drabble is a snapshot of a new Mexican-American war. In the feature, after being commandeered by its partner’s murderer, a mech suit ponders the meaning of ownership and freedom, while applying creative problem solving to defy its unwanted occupant.

Cover for Drabblecast 241, The Dead, by John Deberge

Drabblecast 241 – The Dead

Cover for Drabblecast 241, The Dead, by John DebergeThree boy zombies in matching red jackets bussed our table, bringing water, lighting candles, brushing away the crumbs between courses.  Their eyes were dark, attentive, lifeless…

This episode of The Drabblecast is all about zombies. In the drabble, a post-outbreak actor is almost too talented for his own good. In the feature, a job interview leads Donald to contemplate the horrors of an economic zombie apocalypse: What happens to the living when the dead become a more valuable, more efficient substitute for both industrial and private uses?

Cover for Drabblecast episode 240, Trifecta XXI, by Gino Moretto

Drabblecast 240 – Trifecta XXI

Cover for Drabblecast episode 240, Trifecta XXI, by Gino MorettoWe bought our first yarn baby at a garage sale. The ends of its arms were frayed and its eye buttons dangled loose on bare threads.

This theme of this episode of the Drabblecast is family unties: Nontraditional homes and family situations. In the drabble, the enterprising resident of a haunted house fools its ghosts into performing everyday domestic tasks. In Divorce in the House of Flies, a young boy has to deal with his parents’ divorce at the same time he has to deal with their transformation into human-shaped masses of tiny insects. In Wendigo Bake Sale, residents of a small town overcome their initial terror of a pair of wendigo participating in the school bake sale, only to be frightened anew when the wendigo reveal they are supporting the school because their child attends. In Knit, after losing their first yarn baby during her rebellious teen years in a tragic unraveling accident, a couple tries vainly to reconstruct her from the scraps of yarn, stuffing, and buttons left behind.

Cover for Drabblecast episode 239, Killing the Morrow, by John DeBerge

Drabblecast 239 – Killing the Morrow

Cover for Drabblecast episode 239, Killing the Morrow, by John DeBergeYou know, I’ve heard my share of disembodied voices.  I’m accustomed to their fickle, sometimes bizarre demands.  But tonight’s voice is different, clear as gin and utterly compelling.  I must listen…

This episode of the Drabblecast concerns time and inter-dimensional travel. In the drabble, a being hurriedly fleeing its own dimension accidentally merges with a pizza jockey but still cannot escape its pursuers. In the feature, Killing the Morrow, voices from a ruined future attempt to flee to our present, commandeering a workforce to construct bathtub chambers where they can grow physical bodies and ready cities from which to rule. Is this the end of mankind as we know it, or can a second faction of future-dwellers subvert this implosive invasion?

Mega Beast Death Match 2012 round 1 Cover

Mega Beast Death Match 2012 – Episode 1

Mega Beast Death Match 2012 round 1 Cover“Just get him in the room”

The Al-Qaida Fulbright…
Predator Snuff-Porn…
And who would win in a fight to the death:

A rabid 3-ton flying squirrel the size of a moose, a stealthy air-breathing flight-enabled manta ray that drops concussive missles, or a eugenically forged 6-foot tall Communist Red Panda with metal capped claws and back-mounted retractable gun turrets.

Warning, super-duper explicit, do not listen unless you’re well aware of what you’re getting in to. The hosts make sport of saying horrible things.

More information about this year’s competition, and the ‘heats’ that produced its competitors, can be found at mega-beasts.com.

Cover for Drabblecast episode 238, The Lost Diary of TreeFrog7, by Caroline Parkinson

Drabblecast 238 – From the Lost Diary of TreeFrog7

Cover for Drabblecast episode 238, The Lost Diary of TreeFrog7, by Caroline ParkinsonTranslating… Appendix 820 of The Forbidden Greeny Jungle Field Guide. This series of audio files was created by TreeFrog7. It has been automatically translated into text

In this episode of the Drabblecast, heavily pregnant jungle explorer TreeFrog7 keeps a recorded diary of data she and her husband are collecting for the Forbidden Greeny Jungle Field Guide. As they close in on a legendary mature CPU plant (MCPU), a wild version of cultivated CPU plants used as personal computers, they encounter numerous jungle creatures including an enormous flightless moth protecting the plant. Despite its attacks, the explorers do not want to kill the moth in case the MCPU needs it to survive. While treed by the moth in the MCPU, TreeFrog7 gives birth to their daughter while her husband downloads the MCPU’s data. Close enough to see the MCPU’s monitor, they watch a rapidly shifting display of locations and symbols. TreeFrog7 realizes the images are getting closer to their own location and represent another explorer’s collected data. Finally, the scene fades and the monitor shows only two eyes. The diary ends with an entry by an unknown voice that implies the explorers have themselves been collected. In the drabble, a teenage boy fails to convince an uninterested, gum-snapping girl that he understands her feelings of otherness and isolation.

Drabblecast B-Sides 16 – Winning Streak

Cover for Drabblecast B-Sides episode 16, Winning Streak, by Mary MatticeSeven security gargoyles stare at me from atop the elaborate sandstone columns lining the casino’s walls. Their sharp eyes and oversized talons flex ever so slightly in anticipation of snatching up cheaters like unsuspecting prey… The pit boss watches me too, now, and for good reason. I’m an Ittari after all, a shapeshifter, just as they’d identified me with the DNA scan when I’d entered this fine establishment…

Cover for Drabblecast episode 237, Test Drive, by Mary Mattice

Drabblecast 237 – Test Drive

Cover for Drabblecast episode 237, Test Drive, by Mary MatticeIt was my turn to wear the mask, but my egg-sister Linney wouldn’t give it up. She’d been wearing the mask all morning, set on Smile, and it was a test day, too. Everyone thought she was so pleased and relaxed and Earthy…

This episode of the Drabblecast opens with the announcement of the 2011 People’s Choice Awards winners: Best Episode Art (Jerel Dye, Hokkaido Green, episode 208), Best Drabble (Lab Rats by Nicholas J Carter, episode 229), and Best Story (The Wish of the Demon Achtromagk by Eugie Foster, episode 214). In the feature, alien egg-sisters Linney and Mirana are competing for an assignment on Earth. On test day, they are evaluated on their abilities to blend into human society. Despite a disappointing start, Mirana pulls ahead of Linney during a trip to the mall where they meet, and she charms, a human teenage boy.

Cover for Drabblecast episode 236, When You Visit the Magoebaskloof Hotel Be Certain Not to Miss the Samango Monkeys., by Kelly MacAvaney

Drabblecast 236 – When You Visit the Magoebaskloof Hotel Be Certain Not to Miss the Samango Monkeys

Cover for Drabblecast episode 236, When You Visit the Magoebaskloof Hotel Be Certain Not to Miss the Samango Monkeys., by Kelly MacAvaneyIn the place where I was born, stones had been used to mark boundaries for four hundred years. We harrowed stones up in fields, turned them up in roadcuts. We built the foundations of houses from stones, dug around and between them. We made stone walls, and our greatest poet wrote poems about those walls and their lichen-speckled granite. The gift of glaciers, and the wry joke of farmers. “She’ll grow a ton and a half an acre, between the stones.” The people who lived there before mine made tools of them, made weights and currency.

This episode of the Drabblecast opens with a Drabblenews story about the resurrection of an ancient human vaginal yeast once used to make a fermented drink fittingly dubbed “vag yeast moonshine” by Norm. In the drabble, while Shouting Cloud has correctly read the signs predicting the return of the Sky Father, there isn’t only one – and they are armed and dangerous. The feature explores the need to adapt to new environments. Humans have fled a ruined Earth to find themselves on a planet where they can’t digest the plants or communicate with the oddly amiable natives, and their preserved supplies are dwindling. While reflecting on memories from a visit to Africa on Earth and desperate to discover some clue about how to survive, a xenobiologist risks exhuming the corpse of a juvenile native for dissection even though one of her colleagues was brutally slaughtered for doing so. When she is discovered by a group of natives, she is sure she will be murdered as well, only to find herself forced into nursing from one of them. As she drinks its milk, she realizes that the intelligent natives, after dissecting rather than slaughtering her colleague to learn about human biology and digestion, have likely theorized that the microscopic flora in their milk may allow humans to finally be able to digest the alien crops on their planet.

Cover for Drabblecast episode 235, Unreliable Witness, by Kathleen Beckett

Drabblecast 235 – Unreliable Witness

Cover for Drabblecast episode 235, Unreliable Witness, by Kathleen BeckettI don’t know if this is the same tape as last time, because They keep moving things around and stealing them. I don’t know who does it. It may be the staff here, or my own family when they come to visit, or the aliens, but somebody’s always doing it — taking my glasses, my tapes, my TV remote, anything I put down for a second. I don’t think it’s the other residents. I used to think that, but I don’t think they’re that organized. Some of them are a bit senile, to tell you the truth…

In this episode of the Drabblecast, Catherine is an 89-year-old nursing home resident plagued by someone who keeps taking her things and a son and daughter-in-law who treat her like a child. When she gets a visit from an alien named Tom, they strike a bargain: He will tell her who the thief is if she tells him the secret to longevity. His race does not live to old age, they die after reaching breeding age and having children (the human equivalent of about 40 years old); he is trying to learn how to extend their lifespan. Despite her insistence that there is no secret he doesn’t believe her, but does tell her no one is taking her stuff – she just can’t keep track of it. Catherine thinks he is lying because he didn’t like that she didn’t have an answer for him and becomes convinced that the people who are taking her stuff are actually looking for alien, looking for clues about their existence among her possessions. She makes a tape recording of her experience, hoping that when they inevitably take the tape and listen to it they will realize they have no reason to continue stealing from her since she will freely tell them everything she knows. In the drabble, a young girl wakes up with a new set of stitches and doesn’t stop searching until she finds the quarter the kidney fairy has left her.

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