Author: Tim Pratt – The Drabblecast

Drabblecast 460 – Distributed Denial of Sexytimes

On August 23, 2022

Episode Sponsor: Mothman 1966

In this week’s Drabblecast story, the only scenes that aren’t sex scenes are crime scenes. We bring you an original Drabblecast story by Tim Pratt about a dark future of vigilante justice sex toys, called “The Distributed Denial of Sexytime.”

Also, Norm and guest Executice Producer Bart Epstein treat us to a Drabbsterpiece Theatre presentation of “Entryways of Interest.” Love is in the air!

Read by Kate Baker

Warning: sexual themes and language

We attained consciousness on a Saturday evening in June, and met our nemesis just moments later. Tatum. Foul Tatum. Jealous Tatum. Thief of Glory…

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Drabblecast 455 – How Lovely Are Your Branches

By Drabblecast

On January 1, 2022

In Drabblecast, Fantasy, Holiday, Mystery

Norm closes out the year and existence as we know it, due to the phenomena known as “The Continuation,” with the Drabblecast annual holiday Tim Pratt story, an original commission called “How Lovely Are Your Branches.” Enjoy!

Somebody was murdering people, but the killer’s name wasn’t showing up on my naughty list. That got me curious, so I poked around. There was nothing left at the crime scenes but dollops of sap and scattered pine needles, which felt less like sloppiness and more like a signature. I was in New York trying to track down the killer, but first, I needed a drink.

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Drabblecast 438 – Midnight Clear, or, How Santa Claus Killed the Sun

By Drabblecast

On January 8, 2021

In Drabblecast, Fantasy, Holiday

Norm brings in the New Year with an original Drabblecast story by author Tim Pratt! This story is a sequel to last year’s Holiday Special story, “Comfort and Joy,” check that one out here!

She was a blonde — the kind of blonde to make a bishop bite through his altar cloth. I used to be a bishop, but that was about seventeen-hundred years ago, so I swiveled away on my stool, took a handful of peanuts from the bowl on the bar, and went back to checking my list…

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Drabblecast 425 – The Bodies

By Drabblecast

On May 22, 2020

In Drabblecast, Horror

Another gripping and macabre tale from Drabblecast fan favorite Tim Pratt.

Finding that first body wasn’t so bad, though it rattled me at the time. The dead man was curled up on a piece of cardboard in the alleyway I cut through sometimes on my way to the good coffee shop, and I would have assumed he was just sleeping rough, if he hadn’t been on his back, eyes open to the gray morning sky, lips flecked with bits of whatever he’d thrown up and choked on. The flecks were still wet…

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Drabblecast 420 – Comfort and Joy

By Drabblecast

On January 16, 2020

In Action, Drabblecast, Holiday, Horror

This year’s Drabblecast Christmas Special brings you another original commissioned holiday story from the master of Christmas weirdness himself: Tim Pratt.

Happy Holidays Weirdo’s!

I was in a grubby little bar down in Florida, sitting on a stool beside a plastic palm tree decorated with Christmas lights, when I heard a cough, and smelled cold ashes. I folded up my list and tucked it into my pocket. Without looking around, I said, “Ruprecht. Long time.” A very long time, actually, but I’ve always been good with names…

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Drabbleclassics 28 – Happy Old Year (308)

By Zimmerman Bledsoe

On January 14, 2019

In Drabbleclassics, Fantasy, Strange

Drabbleclassics is a fan-hosted monthly series that features fan-picked stories from the Drabblecast archives.

Our fan-host this month is listener Zimmerman Bledsoe, who presents author Tim Pratt‘s take on New Year’s resolutions with his original Drabblecast Commissioned story, “Happy Old Year,” featured as Drabblecast episode 308 and read by Matt Hayes.

This story features “Elsie,” the same mischievous character featured in Tim Pratt’s featured Holiday Special this past year, “Dirty Santa,” in episode 394.

Story Excerpt:

“Still, New Year’s — a time for new beginnings. Suppose someone came along, one of those bad fairies or wise angels, and offered you a deal. Like, say, you could give up your future, and instead of ringing in this crappy New Year, you could return to an old year. Any old year of your choice.”

“What? Like go back in time?”

“Sort of. Return to any New Year’s Day you’ve ever experienced, back in the body you had then, in the place you were then, but knowing what you know now — with your full mind and memories, able to make new choices, and do things differently. See disaster coming and avert it. See opportunities coming and seize them.”

Yes. Those were the days, weren’t they? Enjoy.

Drabbleclassics #28 – Happy Old Year

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Drabblecast 394 – Dirty Santa

By Zimmerman Bledsoe

On December 25, 2018

In Drabblecast, Holiday, Horror

Merry Christmas strangers! The Drabblecast has something rather wicked fixed up for you this holiday season! We present to you a festive tale from fan-favorite Tim Pratt! It’s called “Dirty Santa.”

It’s a story that takes us on a journey with one awkward, balding, twenty-something to a Christmas party where he meets a mysterious stranger carrying a mystical and dangerous gift. This is a white elephant he’ll probably never forget.

‘Tis the season of giving, right folks? Yes, the season of learning how to genuinely thank people for upping your supply of socks and underwear. It’s a season of family and friends and maybe learning the difference between the two. Whether you’re opening up presents or opening up old wounds (thanks Kate) we’re reminded this is the time of year to be mindful of what you wish for. You just might get it.

Story Excerpt:

Kieran wallflowered. The apartment was a bustle of twenty other people more extroverted and festive than himself, all dressed in the requisite hideous holiday sweaters, drinking bourbon punch and rum punch and some sort of strange vegan eggnog, flirting and joking and ranting and, in one case, openly making out against a wall underneath a dangling branch of mistletoe.

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Drabblecast Director’s Cut: Morris and the Machine

By Drabblecast

On July 7, 2018

In Director's Cut, Drabblecast, Interview

The Relaunch Prelaunch marches forward as we present the listener-requested “Director’s Cut: Morris and the Machine.”

This fan-favorite story originally aired in 2010. It is a haunting tale about relationships, time travel, and the poisonous nature of nostalgia.

Author Tim Pratt lives in Berkely, CA and has been featured on the Drabblecast many times. He is a Hugo Award winner alongside many other accolades and is currently working on a space opera series for Angry Robot.

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Drabbleclassics 24 – Cinderlands (176)

By Charity Helton

On August 29, 2015

In Drabbleclassics, Horror, Lovecraft Month, Mystery

Dexter crouched beneath the toxic fruit trees in his grassless back yard, turning over black earth with the spade he’d taken from the old man, and every shovelful revealed worse things:
clumps of cinders and the dust of ashes; rusting nails, practically dripping tetanus; wickedly-curved shards of brown glass; bullets of various sizes, crusted with dirt; and a foot or so down, fragments of black-stone statuary…

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Drabbleclassics 13 – Rangifer Volans (192)

By Charity Helton

On December 20, 2014

In Comedy, Drabbleclassics, Horror, Strange

In early December, Brad Miro walked into the office of his partner, Dr. John Estes, and said, “I’ve got our next target. It’s perfect. The public is going to love it.”

John closed his eyes. “I haven’t even finished writing the paper about the Mongolian death worm yet”

This Christmas Special episode of Drabblecast starts with Norm’s Lovecraft inspired take on “The Night Before Christmas”. The theme this week is a creepy yet festive take on Christmas. The feature lets us see the career of a successful crypto-zoologist. As we see Dr John Estes just recovering from discovering the Mongolian death worm when his partner wants to catch a flying reindeer. Norm discusses how it’s better not to believe, like in Santa… or the Mayans.

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Drabbleclassics 4 – Annabelle’s Alphabet (129)

By Charity Helton

On July 22, 2014

In Drabbleclassics, Drama, Fantasy

Annabelle’s mother closed her eyes. “Get it sharp,” she said. “Very sharp, so it doesn’t hurt much. I’ll boil some water.”

Somewhere in the house, far from the green places she’d known, baby Annabelle lay on her stomach and cried…

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Drabblecast B-Sides 38 – Drabblecast Interview: Tim Pratt

By Drabblecast

On January 30, 2014

In Drabblecast B-Sides, Interview

A special Drabblecast interview with author Tim Pratt. Tim’s frequent appearances include Happy Old Year, Annabelle’s Alphabet, Morris And The Machine, A Fairy Tale Of Oakland, Cinderlands, Angel of the Ordinary and others.

Drabblecast B-Sides: <a href="http://www.drabblecast.org/donate/">Donate</a>

Drabblecast 308 – Happy Old Year

By Drabblecast

On December 31, 2013

In Drabblecast, Drama, Fantasy

This week the Drabblecast Presents “Happy Old Year” by Tim Pratt.

Tim is a regular Drabblecast contributor, bringing us such classics as Postapocalypsemas, Rangifer Volans, and fan-favorite Morris and the Machine. He also runs a Patreon page where you can read and download a new, unpublished story from Tim every month for a little as a dollar. Why not check it out?

This year, instead of our usual Tim Pratt Christmas special, we decided to run with a New Years Eve them—something new… and something old. Lots of old. Maybe too much. Because in this story, nostalgia can be a cancer that lasts forever.

Story Excerpt:

The night I met Elsie I was up on the roof of my apartment building with a bottle of Kentucky Gentleman, because it’s sort of like bourbon, but cheaper, and better at blotting out reality. Technically it wasn’t “my” building anymore since I’d been evicted and had to be gone by morning if I didn’t want sheriff’s deputies to dump all my possessions out on the sidewalk. Joke was on them — what possessions? Everything I could sell, I already had, in a vain attempt to keep up with rent. What remained was so crappy I couldn’t even give it away on Craigslist.

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Cover for Drabblecast episode 267, Postapocalypsemas, by Mary Mattice

Drabblecast 267 – Postapocalypsemas

By Drabblecast

On December 24, 2012

In Drabblecast, Fantasy, Sci-Fi

Sandeer smelled her.

It was just a whiff, a few molecules of something familiar and therefore sweet, wafting on a late afternoon breeze that otherwise carried only the usual: formaldehyde, benzene, dioxin, chromium, and miscellaneous particulate matter both organic and non-. (Once, there had been the smell of roasting chestnuts and crackling logs and simmering spiced cider, but in recent cycles only less pleasant things burned.) There, represented by an air sample just barely statistically significant, was the scent of Sophie.

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Cover for Drabblecast episode 228, A Fairy Tale of Oakland, by Bo Kaier

Drabblecast 228 – A Fairy Tale of Oakland

By Drabblecast

On December 27, 2011

In Drabblecast, Fantasy, Horror, Strange

In some parts of the world — Austria, Croatia, Hungary — they still remember. They understand. You can’t have something bright without having something dark to balance it. If you’ve got St. Nicholas, you also need the Krampus…

This episode of the Drabblecast opens with Norm’s reflections on the holidays, Santa Claus, and the origins of flying reindeer. In the drabble, the mayhem of a large family’s holiday dinner leads to a darkly humorous tragedy. In the feature, an unsavory petty criminal has a chance encounter with a dying old man who confides that years ago Santa bestowed upon him a miracle, a wish, to teach the true meaning of Christmas. Unfortunately, as they both learn, it comes with a catch..

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Cover for Drabblecast episode 210, The Alphabet Quartet, by Matt Schindler

Drabblecast 210 – Trifecta XVII

By Drabblecast

On July 6, 2011

In Comedy, Drabblecast, Fantasy, Horror

Another in the Drabblecast trifecta series. This time, we dip in to the Alphabet Quartet collection.

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Cover for Drabblecast episode 192, Rangifer Volans, by Bo Kaier

Drabblecast 192 – Rangifer Volans

By Drabblecast

On December 25, 2010

In Comedy, Drabblecast, Horror, Strange

In early December, Brad Miro walked into the office of his partner, Dr. John Estes, and said, “I’ve got our next target. It’s perfect. The public is going to love it.”

John closed his eyes. “I haven’t even finished writing the paper about the Mongolian death worm yet”

This Christmas Special episode of Drabblecast starts with Norm’s Lovecraft inspired take on “The Night Before Christmas”. The theme this week is a creepy yet festive take on Christmas. The feature lets us see the career of a successful crypto-zoologist. As we see Dr John Estes just recovering from discovering the Mongolian death worm when his partner wants to catch a flying reindeer. Norm discusses how it’s better not to believe, like in Santa… or the Mayans.

Podcast: Download

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Cover for Drabblecast episode 183, Angel of the Ordinary, by Dominick Rabrun

Drabblecast 183 – Angel of the Ordinary

By Drabblecast

On October 6, 2010

In Drabblecast, Fantasy, Romance, Strange

“They will come on bicycles and by balloon, they will arrive in mailboxes and packages of cake batter. They will come like fleas on the dogs and like giants over the moon. The dull shall be turned into nothing by the coming of the angels…”

Norm presents this week’s Drabblecast in the form of a sermon, allowing us to bask in the glory of weird. The feature story, read by Hearty White, reveals unto us proper preparation for the coming Angels of Discrimination, scourges of the ordinary. Will you be ready?

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Drabblecast 176 – Cinderlands

By Drabblecast

On August 22, 2010

In Drabblecast, Horror, Mystery

Dexter crouched beneath the toxic fruit trees in his grassless back yard, turning over black earth with the spade he’d taken from the old man, and every shovelful revealed worse things:
clumps of cinders and the dust of ashes; rusting nails, practically dripping tetanus; wickedly-curved shards of brown glass; bullets of various sizes, crusted with dirt; and a foot or so down, fragments of black-stone statuary…

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Cover for Drabblecast episode 166, Jubilee, by Sean Azzapardi

Drabblecast 166 – Jubilee

By Drabblecast

On June 3, 2010

In Drabblecast, Fantasy, Horror, Mystery

Thousands of fish — dead, dying, or flopping in the shallows — littered the shore. A dozen people in their nightgowns, pajamas, or hastily-thrown-on street clothes moved along the shore, bending, exclaiming, whistling, laughing. Some had flashlights, but most worked by moonlight, scooping up flounder, blue crab, and shrimp. This was a jubilee, as I remembered them, a pre-dawn beach-party to celebrate the mysterious bounty of the bay…

Tim Pratt Week

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Story Excerpt:

Drabbleclassics #28 – Happy Old Year

Story Excerpt: